I am going to share with you some information that spiritual healers have. You may not know that in Brasil one used to have a choice of going to a regular hospital and be treated by modern medicine or going to a Spiritist hospital and be treated by mediums. Many diseases, they found, were caused at the spiritual level. In the course of working as a healer I have learned a bit about this subject. For example, a woman came to me who was having relationship troubles. She always seemed to pick the “wrong man” for a relationship. I did a reading of her and discovered she had a lot of upper chakras closed. The Crown, The Third Eye, the Throat and the Heart chakras were all closed. I explained this to her and asked her if she wanted me to open them. I did. I tossed a little chi on them and commanded them to open. No big deal for me to do. But at the end of the session I checked her again and they were closed back again. Then I realized my mistake. I had not consulted with Spirit before opening them. I had a good chat with her guides and found out that her upper chakras were closed karmically as part of this life’s plan. Because of her karma in a former life her upper chakras were shut for this lifetime. Counseling her had to take a different route!
I have found that certain chakra closings are also associated with certain neurological impairments. For example, those with asperger’s syndrome and autism had their upper chakras closed. The closing of the chakras was karmic, due to a former life, and the chakra closings manifested as asperger’s or autism. Again, no amount of chi could open those chakras and keep them open.
I have also encountered people who have ALL of their chakras karmically closed!!! I didn’t know one could be alive with them ALL closed. Further dowsing of one individual with this condition showed that he had “sold his soul,” so to speak, to the Dark Side. If you believe in the devil then this guy sold his soul to him! I was aware of an extreme amount of negative energy when I was around this fellow and he had a wall I could not penetrate.
Now this one I am about to tell you may be controversial. I was given permission to dowse Donald Trump. Trump also has ALL of his chakras closed by karma.
Chakras can be seen by Polycontrast Interference Photography, invented by Dr. Harry Oldfield and utilized within the British medical system.
The tendencies we have NOW in thought carry with us at the death of the physical body. We don’t get advanced just by dropping our bodies. Nothing significant happens to us when we drop the body. We are still a mind believing we are separate with all of our perceptions still in tact. How we advance depends on our willingness to work with spirit in that realm of mind, and that is affected by our patterns of thought when we were alive! As you know, I am a medium and I often contact those spirits who have dropped their bodies. One of my dear friends in opera dropped his body at the age of 82. Of course, I felt loss just like everyone does. But within a week after his passing, I was awakened in the night by his spirit contacting me. I followed his voice in spirit and zipped right up into the mid-Astral and found him in a hall with other great singers. It was not a fancy hall. It could have been any meeting hall here on earth but all the great opera singers in history were there. That is what my friend wanted, apparently, and that is what he got, He was young–about 30–tall and slender, and having the time of his “life” talking with all the great singers who had passed over before him. I talked with him briefly there in that hall and inquired about a Metropolitan Opera coach who we both knew, who had passed away a few years before. My friend laughed and said, “I don’t think she came up here. I think she went down,” and he pointed down and laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh of derision or judgment. It was just a recognition that where we were was still in illusion!! For many months I could not communicate with my friend. My angels told me that he was having great fun exploring the universe. He had been a scientist in life as well as a singer. Then a couple of weeks ago I heard from him again. He and I had developed some grievances while he was alive and they began to be aired with one another. He had been a very insecure person psychologically in life, and so he was also in death. After playing around in the universe for a while he came right back to the mid-Astral, very close to earth and very much still invested in the perception of duality. The year before he died his insecurity had bubbled over. He would call me up and ask me to assure him that he was the greatest bass ever! I would say, “Well, you were one of the greatest basses in the 20th century.” That was not enough. Week after week he would call me and interrogate me in the same manner. After he died his “personality,” now disembodied, continued with that line of insecurity. The other day I was listening to one of his recordings and artistically appraising it. His spirit jumped right in, trying to defend his work from my appraisal.
What illusions we have here we need to work on here because otherwise we carry them into spirit and they are harder to work on there!!!!!!!
When your mother was carrying you, you were hovering around, sometimes nearby, sometimes following where she went and always looking in on the baby inside her. As a spirit you thought about your many lives you have lived before and your decision to live again, this time with this mother and father and the history you would be a part of. Even before you made the plunge and joined that little body inside her womb, you felt your mother’s love for you. You felt her little pats, the hugs of her body as she carried you. You watched what she ate and enjoyed her pleasure at eating those dill pickles. As she walked through the park you went with her, flying just over the tops of the trees. You weren’t quite ready to make the plunge yet and enter that tiny body. (In Dr. Joel Whitton’s book, Life between Life, hypnotized patients recalled their experiences like these before they were born.) You watched your father too and got a good feeling for him. It was the quality of the love shared by your mother and father that sent a message into the spirit world which you applied to accept, to come here again and have another lifetime that would give you lessons you need to learn. Your mother provided so much of your early training. Her breast milk would feed you, not just with nourishment, but with oxytocin, the love neurotransmitter. You would learn love from your mother’s breast milk. But nine months before that oxytocin played a huge part in your process. When your father sent his sperm to join with your mother’s egg, oxytocin was released with his sperm! See, there is just no way, you can get away without love! =
Then came the big day, probably somewhere around the last trimester, and you decided to join that little body in mother’s womb. There were angels around you helping you take a deep breath and jump! Your mother felt it when you landed into her! She called to your father to tell him. He ran over to your mother and placed his hand on her tummy. More oxytocin was released!!!!!! You settled down in that little body in the womb and sort of took a cat nap, aware but comfortable, like you remember a former life, being in your jammies in an old chair. Boy (or Girl!) did you get to know your mom!!!!!!!! Every thought she had. Every feeling, every hope, every joy and every fear. That’s OK as long as there was not too much fear. You had a chance to sympathize and empathize with her during that last period before the BIG DAY! BIRTH!!!!!! You had been floating so nicely, bobbing and weaving within that nice pool of amniotic fluid. But now earthquakes!!! The sides were shrinking and you were being pushed down. Your mom was getting a little scared but dad was there smiling like everything was cool! You were being pushed and shoved through a tunnel but there was a light at the end of it. There was only one way you could go, like you were being flushed!! Out you came flying like a greased pig at the fair! Then this alien in a white space suit grabs you and spanks your bum!! It hurt and you began to cry!!! But then the big alien guy layed you on your mother’s chest and you just knew those nipples were made for you! You docked on and out came the best oxytocin you have ever tasted…and the milk was great too, as sweet as cotton candy and plenty of it! That was day one of your new life on earth! Wow, back another time for another go round of tests and lessons! Another chance to learn to love yourself and others. Another lesson simply to learn to be kind to everyone. You may get 60 or 70 or 80 years to learn this so pay attention! The time will fly away. Then you will fly away too but the love you have learned you get to take with you!
What Happens When We Die?
by Joseph Shore
Isn’t this the question we all want answered? As much as we may believe something, we want to know. I have collated information based on three areas of inquiry: My experiences with physical mediums who I can certify not to be frauds; My consciousness experiences including a six week episode of enlightenment based on A Course in Miracles and Information from Near Death Studies. First the NDE material:
I have had four open heart surgeries and during the first one, I had an out of body experience that seemed very natural. I was later able to identify the events which took place while my body was unconscious. Some of my friends have gone all the way. My dear friend, Dr. George Rodonaia, was dead for three days in a hospital morgue and later revived during the autopsy. PMH Atwater died three times This is what she has to say about it:
“Any pain to be suffered comes first. Instinctively you fight to live. That is automatic.
It is inconceivable to the conscious mind that any other reality could
possibly exist beside the earth-world of matter bounded by time and
space. We are used to it. We have been trained since birth to live and
thrive in it. We know ourselves to be ourselves by the external stimuli
we receive. Life tells us who we are and we accept its telling. That,
too, is automatic, and to be expected.
“Your body goes limp. Your heart stops. No more air flows in or out.
You lose sight, feeling, and movement – although the ability to hear
goes last. Identity ceases. The “you” that you once were becomes only a
“There is no pain at the moment of death. Only peaceful silence. . . calm. . . quiet.
“But you still exist. “It is easy not to breathe. In fact, it is easier, more comfortable, and
infinitely more natural not to breathe than to breathe. The biggest
surprise for most people in dying is to realize that dying does not end
life. Whether darkness or light comes next, or some kind of event, be it
positive, negative, or somewhere in-between, expected or unexpected, the
biggest surprise of all is to realize you are still you. You can still
think, you can still remember, you can still see, hear, move, reason,
wonder, feel, question, and tell jokes – if you wish.
“You are still alive, very much alive. Actually, you’re more alive after
death than at any time since you were last born. Only the way of all
this is different; different because you no longer wear a dense body to
filter and amplify the various sensations you had once regarded as the
only valid indicators of what constitutes life. You had always been
taught one has to wear a body to live.
“If you expect to die when you die you will be disappointed.
The only thing dying does is help you release, slough off, and discard
the “jacket” you once wore (more commonly referred to as a body).
“When you die you lose your body.
That’s all there is to it. “Nothing else is lost.
You are not your body. It is just something you wear for a while,
because living in the earth plane is infinitely more meaningful and more
involved if you are encased in its trappings and subject to its rules.
(This material was excerpted from two of P.M.H.Atwater’s books – “Beyond the Light: The Mysteries and Revelations of Near-Death Experiences” (Avon Books, New York City, 1994), and “We Live Forever: The Real Truth about Death” (A.R.E. Press, Virginia Beach, VA, 2004). It is based on first-person commentaries from over 3,000 adult experiencers of near-death states. ~PMH)
Whether you find yourself in a tunnel or simply but suddenly experience yourself out of the body and in a dimension of Light/Love, you will be greeted by those you love who have already passed over. This is a reunion you have been longing for. Next you may encounter a Being of Light, an angel, or a Being you identify as Jesus. In His/Their loving presence you will be given strength to see the details of your life. As on a movie laid out holographically, you will see the times in your life when you hurt people. But you will feel it from their perspective. It will be very painful. But then you will get to see all the loving things you have done and experience them from the perspective of the people you helped. These things herald through the universe and you will feel the happiness of the angels and other beings around you. Next you will be taken into conference by a group of beings, whether we call them angels or the Lords of Karma, you will see all of your past lives and review all of the lessons you have learned and those you failed to learn. You may get to stay in spirit with your loved ones for a “time”–as long as you need.. You may stay in spirit and learn your lessons there. You may get a fuller picture of all your lives and the eventual merging back into God. You will begin to experience yourself as a universal being who has had all these lifetimes, instead of just the person you were before you died. But at some point you will have to choose whether to stay in spirit or go back into another life that will be designed for you as a classroom for you to continue your learning. No one is forced to go into a body. All who choose to come back are viewed as heroes by their brothers in spirit.
Some people complain that the NDE is all too dualistic to be true. My first answer to that is the fact that this is the way people are experiencing the process. The second answer is that we experience the world dualistically. Your birth was experienced dualistically. There was a time when you came into the womb of your mother and felt connected to her, but unique. Then you were shot like a canon ball out of her and experienced yourself separate from her and all other things. You lived your life that way. Why should the death process be experienced any other way?
Many people who have had full NDEs find it very difficult to put the experience into words, but many of them also feel a compulsion to try to explain what has happened to them. The truth is so utterly fantastic. We are not native to this dimension of material. We are photonic Beings who come from a dimension of Light and Love and we are learning lessons here in this classroom of the world that will help us go back Home. Our Father and our elder brother, and all those we have loved are waiting for us there. Never a doubt there is but that we will get Home.
Next, my experiences with mediums. For three years I worked with Jao de Deus, the Brazilian medium many people consider a great healer. Jao will go into a total trance and another spirit with a personality comes into him to perform a healing. Many times these surgeries are performed on doctors, M.D.s, who then report what an excellent surgery was done on them. I have also seen spirits manifest in thin air and appear as solid as you or me. I also worked with a physical medium in Seattle named David LeBaron. Spirits also could manifest through him. My grandfather came through, the same size, same height, same personality. Death is just dropping the body. The spirit still has the same mind, including carrying in his mind the same state of development he had when he died! Nobody gets enlightened just because they die!! Your mind without a body is the same as the mind when you were in a body!!
Now my experiences in mysticism, going into oneness, being almost totally released from feeling I am a separate individual. I have had lengthy periods in which I identified with the Christ Mind in me. The longest was six weeks last year. I shared it with you in Facebook:
“A stillness has come to me which is unlike anything I have experienced before. The Love of God has come into my mind to take up abode. I am not alone, nor lonely, nor do I ever feel bored. I am actively experiencing the Love of God in my mind. I need no TV. The thought of it is humorous. I need nothing. I eat my meals while looking happily out my window at the beautiful clouds and mountains. I walk to the grocery store, talk to the street beggars with a smile and love in my heart while I pull out the change in my pocket and give it to them. I come back home and look at the clouds and the mountains and am more than content. Songs play in my mind of peace and the love of God. I write on Facebook, email friends, and pet the cat. What more need there be? I am still inside and need no entertainment. I know that I am a part of God and share his holiness and glory. I am at the gates of heaven. This is a stillness which I have not had before. This is not the stillness from nature, as beautiful as that is. This is the Love of God which has taken up abode in my heart and I want for nothing more; not fame, nor riches, not wife, nor position. I have found peace and happiness within the Love of God. And I am not alone here in my mind. You are here too. We are all one Mind and we are almost home. We are the Glory of God.
“The Glory cloud of God will fall on us. Be grateful that it will fall. Nothing in all your life has prepared you for anything like being under the Glory cloud of God. You will not be able to stand. The body cannot stand in the Glory of God. In the Glory cloud there is the weight of holiness and as much as our spirits belong there, the body does not! The body will groan, shout, and travail under the Glory cloud. But your spirit will never want to be any other place than in the Glory of God. We belong in the Glory cloud of God. We are the rays of His Glory. When the Glory cloud falls the spirit remembers its true home. We know then that we are not a body, but a spirit and a part of the Great Spirit of God. The holiness we feel under the Glory cloud is our holiness as well. But the body can only groan or bark like dogs. In the Glory cloud we speak the language of the Spirit. No human language can work in the Glory cloud.
Pray for the Glory of God to fall, as we awaken to Self, One with God. In the Glory cloud will all our lessons be reviewed. In the Glory cloud will we climb up the ladder. In the Glory cloud will we see Jesus. In the Glory cloud we will know our Home. Soon we will be done with the troubles of the world. Soon we will just be what we are. We are the Glory cloud of God.
“The Glory of God is all I need.
The Glory of God is my Home.
The Glory of God is my peace.
The Glory of God removes all illusions,
None can stand in The Glory of God.
The Glory of God is all I want.
The Glory of God is all I seek.
The Glory of God is the will of my spirit.
The Glory of God is the answer to my deepest question:
“Who am I?”
I am the Glory of God,
As rays from the sun,
I am His Glory.
I am The Glory of God.
“I eat my food and pass my water. I pet the cat and watch the clouds, gather in the twilight and welcome the night.
“I teach my students and just stay in this Love which I never, ever, want to leave. It is my Home. It is my Highest Self. I am where I belong, and I am far from alone. You are here with me, and you, and you, and you, and you. “We are all here, Father. The Mind which you created as One has come Home to you. And you know we never really left. We traveled only in dreams while safely in your embrace. Our Love, Our Light will shine forever with You. And the Love you have for your Son is returned back to you as pure as it was when you created Him. Our song, in praise to You, is all that will be heard.”
“I thought that, for me, the most difficult part of staying in right-mindedness, and continuing my experience of the Love of God in my daily life would be to control reactions. Reactions can send you right back to wrong mindedness. But I have found that the Love of God actually gently protects me from reactions. I mean, there is just so much space and timelessness! I stood in a long line at the IGA today, without any temptation to lose patience. I just listened to the people’s thoughts and feelings as I waited. That’s another thing about the real Love of God…It is not evangelistic! I had no urge to try to persuade people! The Love of God honors our sleeping brothers! It is like Tara Singh said, “Some of our brothers are deeply asleep. That’s alright. Let them sleep. They will awaken.” The Love of God knows no pressure.
“Today I awakened from sleep rather early for me. I thought, ‘Jesus why am I up so early.’ I soon found out there was work he wanted me to do. This is life in the Spirit. We listen to an inner Voice that always speaks for truth, and we happily do as the Voice tells us. We have learned over the years, that those who obey the inner Voice will know the Love of God! May you know it today!! Peace.
That was my sharing with you. For six weeks the Christ Mind was almost totally me. It was the culmination of my life. Eventually, though, I faded back into Joe Shore, more loving, of course, and with higher gifting, but Joe Shore nonetheless.
I had a vision in which I found myself at the top of all dimensions, in a space that was not a space, and I was right next to the Ocean of God. The only thing that separated me was the thinnest film, no thicker than a soap bubble. I knew that I could walk through it and into that ocean any time I wanted to. That thin soap bubble represents the tiny little illusion that we have made with the tiny mad idea that we could break off from God and observe the Whole. It was an absurd idea. It has not changed God one bit, nor could this Ocean of Love ever be “angry” at us. There is nothing but eternal Love in that Ocean which is our true and only home. But our tiny mad idea has created this soap bubble of separation, which is an illusion as mad as the tiny mad idea itself. We are in that Ocean right now, you and I, and you, and you, and you over there, you the skeptic, and you the unbeliever, you the Catholic, you the Baptist, you the Hindu, Buddhist, you the Islamic, you who are angry and you who know something of Love. We are all there as one, not as EGO’s, thank God, or we would have to suffer evil and good for eternity, but as spirit, ONE Spirit. ACIM calls this One Spirit, the Son of God. Jesus is a part of that Son, but so are you and me and every sensory byte of information in this illusory universe. Let go of all your little hates today and just see the Love that is in all things. Stay up in the Love and sooner than you imagine, the universe will disappear and we will find ourselves in the Ocean of God. That Ocean is unconscious eternal Love and it is an Ocean which has no shore, nor an end. Don’t be afraid to give up the little conscious “you.” Every loving thought, every loving deed you have done, has been perfectly remembered in the Mind of God. None of your unloving thoughts and deeds have been remembered because they were all unreal. “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”
The Casa spirits, the spirits who had materialized for me at an earlier visit to John of God’s Casa, told me that they were going to be raising me in dimensional vibration to prepare me for my next visit to the Casa. This dimension talk is illusory. It is just a way of talking about the extent of our right-minded readiness to join with the Christ, but since they used it with me, I will use it. They said that the Casa operated at what they called the 499th dimension, where the 500th dimension is direct contact with God. Over a period of weeks, they steadily raised my spirit. It was a wonderful experience of being transformed in my perception. Burnaby Lake, which had always been my teacher in Oneness became transfigured as Heaven itself. And then as I prepared to get on that plane they said, “You are at the 499th dimension. But when you see Joao you will go to the 500th dimension, the direct contact with God.” And so it was, as I grasped Joao’s hand and looked into his eyes, I saw the Ocean of God, as in my vision. The tiny membrane that separated me from it ever so slightly was the cornea of Joao’s eye. I experienced the direct Presence of God and was overcome with Love for all things. This year at the Casa there were a vast number of high healing practitioners. The vibration was so, so high. There was perfect health. I could walk for miles and slept for only about three hours at night. I was up at 6:00AM and ready for the work of the day. We had all indeed been summoned to the Casa for the month of August. It was then I realized that the incredible spirit that came out of the crystal in my home and told me I must return to the Casa was Joao himself!! He was summoning his spiritual family to pray for the world by joining completely with him. He needed no other form of prayer. We all joined there in the Christ Mind and Love was extended throughout the planet.
I want to close with a passage from A Course in Miracles called “The Forgotten Song.” It is in chapter 21, section one,
“Listen,–perhaps you catch a hint of an ancient state not quite forgotten; dim, perhaps, and yet not altogether unfamiliar, like a song whose name is long forgotten, and the circumstances in which you heard completely unremembered. 2 Not the whole song has stayed with you, but just a little wisp of melody, attached not to a person or a place or anything particular. p446 3 But you remember, from just this little part, how lovely was the song, how wonderful the setting where you heard it, and how you loved those who were there and listened with you.
T-21.I.7. The notes are nothing. 2 Yet you have kept them with you, not for themselves, but as a soft reminder of what would make you weep if you remembered how dear it was to you. 3 You could remember, yet you are afraid, believing you would lose the world you learned since then. 4 And yet you know that nothing in the world you learned is half so dear as this. 5 Listen, and see if you remember an ancient song you knew so long ago and held more dear than any melody you taught yourself to cherish since.
T-21.I.8. Beyond the body, beyond the sun and stars, past everything you see and yet somehow familiar, is an arc of golden light that stretches as you look into a great and shining circle. 2 And all the circle fills with light before your eyes. 3 The edges of the circle disappear, and what is in it is no longer contained at all. 4 The light expands and covers everything, extending to infinity forever shining and with no break or limit anywhere. 5 Within it everything is joined in perfect continuity. 6 Nor is it possible to imagine that anything could be outside, for there is nowhere that this light is not.
T-21.I.9. This is the vision of the Son of God, whom you know well. 2 Here is the sight of him who knows his Father. 3 Here is the memory of what you are; a part of this, with all of it within, and joined to all as surely as all is joined in you. 4 Accept the vision that can show you this, and not the body. 5 You know the ancient song, and know it well. 6 Nothing will ever be as dear to you as is this ancient hymn of love the Son of God sings to his Father still.
T-21.I.10. And now the blind can see, for that same song they sing in honor of their Creator gives praise to them as well. 2 The blindness that they made will not withstand the memory of this song. 3 And they will look upon the vision of the Son of God, remembering who he is they sing of. 4 What is a miracle but this remembering? 5 And who is there in whom this memory lies not? 6 The light in one awakens it in all. 7 And when you see it in your brother, you [are] remembering for everyone. “
We are spirits, not bodies. The bodies are illusions, dreams, just as the universe is a big dream that the One Son of God is dreaming. We think we are all separate spirits but that is an illusion. We are all One Spirit. We are all together the One Son of God. As individuals we are dream figures within the dream of the universe. Each of us is a hologram and contains the whole Son of God within him. “The Holy Spirit’s function is to take the broken picture of the Son of God and put the pieces into place again. This holy picture, healed entirely, does He hold out to every separate piece that thinks it is a picture in itself. To each he offers his Identity, Which the whole picture represents, instead of just a little, broken bit that he insisted was himself. And when he sees this picture he will recognise himself. If you share not your brother’s evil dream, this is the picture that the miracle will place within the little gap, left clean of all the seeds of sickness and of sin. And here the Father will receive His Son, because His Son was gracious to himself.
“I thank You, Father, knowing You will come to close each little gap that lies between the broken pieces of Your holy Son. Your holiness, complete and perfect, lies in every one of them. And they are joined because what is in one is in them all. How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognised as being part of the completed picture of God’s Son! The forms the broken pieces seem to take mean nothing. For the whole is in each one. And every aspect of the Son of God is just the same as every other part.” (T28.IV)
The Course is very clear that every piece of sensory data in the universe is a part of the Sonship. When the Son dreamed his dream of separation, believed the ego’s version of the event, He ran out of his mind and projected a universe in which to hide from His Father. In doing so, he split into billions and zillions of pieces. This passage above is very clear that each piece, regardless of the form it takes, is a hologram of the whole. “How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognised as being part of the completed picture of God’s Son! The forms the broken pieces seem to take mean nothing. For the whole is in each one. And every aspect of the Son of God is just the same as every other part.” (T28.IV)
Many of you know the story of how I went to seminary and intended to be a professor; how I felt deeply I was in the wrong place but didn’t know where the right place was. One of my dorm mates was an opera buff who had every opera record under the sun and listened to them morning, noon, and night. I listened with him for the year and a half I was there. Something about those great voices grabbed me down deep somewhere in my psyche and I bought some and began listening to opera while I was studying. Then one evening, a strange thing (for me then) happened. I clearly heard an inner voice say to me “your characters could be your sermons; the stage could be your pulpit; the theatre could be your church; the audience could be your congregation.” Now go put feet to your faith.” This shocked me! Baptists do not hear voices! Maybe Pentecostals do but not us Baptists. You have to understand that I had never had any serious voice lessons. I sang in choirs and sounded no better than anyone else. But just before I heard the voice, I remember praying almost through tears, “Father please tell me what to do. I don’t feel like I belong here.” Maybe that is why I believed it. I took a little step by faith. This was a new kind of ministry. I left seminary and got a job. When I wasn’t working I was listening to opera. This went on about six months until finally one day I opened my mouth to see if I could make a sound like those guys on the records, and out came the operatic voice I have had since! A friend came by and said “Hey, you’ve got quite a voice. You ought to enter the Met Auditions.” I didn’t know what they were but I said sure. I filled out the application, got some music for some hard bass arias and set to learning them by listening to records. I went down to sing the first level of the Met Auditions in Tulsa and had no expectations. I just sang and was named one of the winners. I was even given an apprenticeship with the Santa Fe Opera and the Tulsa Opera sponsored me and gave me grants. I thought to myself, “Gee, this opera business is a snap.” I had absolutely no social preparation to help me deal with this new profession. And I found out that not everybody would like me. I would have real enemies to fight. But I did my best, sang big roles in big houses. I made some mistakes and after singing in this world 11 years I made a personal mistake that took me off the stage. I kept thinking I would find a way to get back on, but I never did. I became a university teacher instead. But all through this era my heart was aching that I had failed in this new ministry that I had been divinely given. Friends were well meaning when they said, “It’s all in the past. Just move on!” But they didn’t understand the miracle I had been given and how deeply it had hurt me to feel I had not fulfilled what I had been given. I was still a minister at heart even when I was an opera singer.
Today, I wrote a letter to God and made a little boat with my recordings in it and my reviews, and I set it on the ocean when the tide was going out. I am going to share with you that letter.
I know that you know my thoughts and that you are here now as I type these words, but it is good for me to write to you this way. I love you with all my heart Father even though I scarcely know how to love, even scarcely know what it is. But you know me and knew me since before all time when I was and still am a part of you. I am a thought in your mind. It feels like I have been away from you a long time, but I know that is not true. I have just been dreaming a dream which to me seems long, but it really was over a long time ago. I am not making very much sense am I? I feel your heart in mine, dear Father. I have almost come for the time to leave this body and set sail again within the world of spirit. It is all a part of the dream which you can’t know because you know that I am safely inside your Mind. Thoughts leave not their thinker. But the Holy Spirit came with me into my dream. He witnessed my birth into this imaginary world. He saw how I so often thought of you. He saw as I viewed my part in my dream as a hero who would help people to remember you. He saw our Song awaken in my heart and formalize itself into a singer in this dream world. My career as an opera singer was the most important thing in my life because you gave me the gift to sing. Your Holy Spirit told me in Seminary that “my characters could be my sermons; the stage could be my pulpit; the theatre could be my church; the audience could be my congregation.” Then your Holy Spirit said to me, “Now go put feet to your faith.” I believed it Father. I knew it was True and that it came from you. I went into this strange, cruel, but wonderful world of opera and I sang with all my heart. I was surprised when some people didn’t like me, because my voice was from you. Along the way I sang as best as I could and I thought of you every time before I went on stage. I made some personal mistakes which I know you have forgiven me for. But I had a hard time forgiving myself for them. They took me out of the world of opera and took away my stage where I had my church. I felt like such a failure. I so wanted to use my voice to help others awaken. I thought my tears would never end for the loss of my career as a singer. You could not know my dream, of course, though you knew I was dreaming. But the Holy Spirit saw and felt everything that happened to me. He saw my tears and my broken heart. He saw the way I had to work in a cruel, cruel world of opera where the men who ran it were asleep in their own dreams of indifference, hatred and usury.
But Father, after the dream of opera changed, I learned more and remembered more. A new dream of awakening into love’s Presence came to me. On the shores of Burnaby Lake with beautiful ducks and geese, birds and fish, water and flowers, I remembered us more. That dream of awakening is still playing out in me. Father, I loved singing, but I give it back to you now as my gift to you. Here in this little boat that I have set adrift to the ocean, there is a computer stick, with all my songs, and all my reviews. They are my gift of thanks back to you for the song we share. Now I will finish the work I began at Burnaby Lake. I will fully remember you and see the face of Christ in all my brothers, even the dark ones who dream nightmares, and who will laugh at the silly old man who writes to God. But that is OK. I do not care. We can speak now all the time if you want Father. I have nothing on my mind but you…and my brothers because I keep seeing the face of Christ in them!
Your Loving Son,
There are times when the horror of this world almost outplays the wonder of it. Cheaters win; Crooks get away with crime; all that is good seems to be threatened. It comes to us in every generation, this great dilemma of the world. We look for goodness. We look so hard to find meaning, and we look even harder to find love. But we can’t find it in the world and its systems. Through tears we look from catastrophe to catastrophe and find no consolation, until another soul sees us bound up in our agony and says, “Yes, I feel it too! Where is there justice? How can we find our way?” And in that moment of common empathy love makes its existence known. The world knows it not, but the human spirit knows the love it seeks. We are the love the world needs! We are the truth we are looking for. Yes, the world is a crooked place all too often where abusers get away with their crimes, where the needy are sold for the price of shoes, where a man or woman of God seems so hard to find!! The evil one seems to win and laugh at truth and right and all that is good. We have these days where the Brett Kavanaughs of the world are exalted and truth and decency are mocked. But they will not endure. They will not endure for the moral arch of the universe bends long but it bends exactly towards justice. Nothing but Love is Real and Nothing Real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists! It may appear to exist as a nightmare does but it will end!!! IT WILL END my dear brothers. We will awaken from this nightmare into Love’s Presence. I love therefore I am. Descartes was wrong. He didn’t see the way. But I have seen the way and when I love I am real. I rise about the dream of the world and share my thoughts with God!! So now is our time dear brothers and sisters to rise above this contemptible world and find the Love that is in us as our natural inheritance and share it with every needy one who has lost hope, who fears that evil may triumph, that ignorance is all that we can expect and that God is dead!! S/He is NOT dead! S/He lives within the love that is deep in your heart. S/he shares every moment of Love’s experience. S/he know that His/Her Son is asleep, dreaming a terrible dream of good and evil where the evil too often seems to win. But S/He has given us the ability to awaken from the dream, a little at a time or a lot at a time–it is all our choice. But the end is not in doubt. The world was over a long time ago and the Oneness of Heaven is Reality that has not been disturbed by this silly little dream of good and evil that we are playing out right now. Love is all there is. Love is all there is. Be not dismayed. Love is all there is. Be not afraid of Republicans or Brett Kavanaugh. Love is all there is!!!!!!!!!!!!