Forgiveness can only happen within Love and all Love is of God. Therefore egos cannot forgive. Egos want a substitute for forgiveness which is suffering. The ego attacks back in anger rather than forgiving on the fly. The ego wants to set up conditions for its substitute forgiveness/suffering. “If you really promise never to do that again, and you promise to respect my boundaries, then maybe we can have some sort of relationship.” That’s the ego’s plan. It makes mistakes into sin and sees sin as real. It wants to save up stamps so that somewhere in the future it can say, “Do you remember what you did to me back there?” The ego knows only the past and tries to keep it alive in your response. In contrast, God’s system says that mistakes happen and we can easily forgive them and let them pass by, as though they never happened, and you can then look upon your “offender” as still perfect. You don’t choose to see him as a villain in your play. However you see him, it is your choice! The sight comes from YOU. See him as a villain whose mistakes were sins and you hide the light of God from yourself. You will bring on to yourself the darkness that you chose to see in him. For you are responsible for your sight!
“I am responsible for what I see.
I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.
Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear.” (ACIM T.21.II.)