Difficulty Forgiving and the Ego

We have to look at why we have difficulty forgiving. This topic keeps appearing in ACIM because it keeps appearing in our lives. When “we” believe that someone committed an offense against us, we enjoy holding on to that feeling of victimhood. We feel “right” and we feel strength in our “individuality.” Now what mistake in thought does that sound like? ding ding ding…THE EGO. We have difficulty forgiving others because we cling to the EGO as our self identification. If Jesus had done that he would have said, “Kill them all Father. Look what they have done to me! I came only to help them and they have brutalized me! And now I am nailed to a cross! O Father send down lightning bolts and destroy them all!! And let them know how they deserve it.” That is what you and I say every time we perceive ourselves as a victim of others. Yes, bad things happen in this world, and people make mistakes in behavior but there is a peaceful way of perceiving that so that we may easily forgive and stay in peace. Everything that appears to happen to me is a part of lessons designed for me to awaken to the truth of my true Self. That’s why Jesus’s prayer in the Gospels says, “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Our relationship with God cannot be right-minded if we believe we are victims, justly holding a sword over our brothers’ heads. The Ego cannot see that projection makes perception. But projection does make perception. What you perceive has been done to you comes from inside YOUR mind and you project it on to your brother who you would condemn as your victimizer!! The Ego believes this world is real and everything that is done to us diminishes us and deserves violent response. The Holy Spirit says, “The world is but a dream and you are not a little victim. Your are part of the Son of God. You are just dreaming this world. Forgive your brother because nothing in truth has been done to you.” The Course also tells us that holding grievances against your brother is an attack on God!! How could it not be? The Ego itself is an attack on God, a silly, ridiculous attack because “NOTHING REAL CAN BE THREATENED.” God is in no danger from the Ego!! God does not even know that such a thing exists because in truth it doesn’t. In Truth we are all a part of the Sonship and are One with the Father right now, unconsciously flowing in Love throughout God’s spiritual universe. But as long as you cling to the belief that you are a body and separate from everyone else, you can hold on to your specialness and sing the ego’s song, “I did it MY way.” There is no way but God’s way because there is nothing but the all-encompassing will of God and no one can be outside of the will of God. Your silly belief that you are a separate ego housed in a bag of skin and water is a silly illusion. That’s not YOU. But you hold to it and cling to it and demand you right to hold on to grievances so you can always say when you need to: “I remember what you did to me back then…” You want to save up stamps. You don’t want to forgive because you don’t want to join in mind with anyone. That would break the illusion of separation you love so much. That would threaten your illusion that you are going to make a name for yourself in this world by exercising your FREE WILL. You don’t want to see that there is no will but God’s!! To you, God is the enemy! His General, the Holy Spirit keeps telling you the world is only a dream and you are not a body! You don’t want to listen because this is your TIME TO SHINE! You are going to accomplish something in this world by exercising your dominance over others! You are going to leave your mark and nobody is going to be able to erase it!!!

Now do you see why you can’t forgive? You have a wrong-minded idea of yourself and the world and your projection of that idea onto everything seems to justify your wrong idea. The insane are running the insane asylum!!!!! And you…and me…well, we are INSANE when we accept the crazy ideas of the ego. It is no wonder you can’t forgive. You don’t know who you are! You can’t see your own light! Thankfully, the Holy Spirit keeps gently telling us the truth, whispering into our ears, “You are as God created you, One with your Father. This world is a dream you have made by a mistake in thought. Forgive your brother because nothing real has been done to you. Forgive the world and you will see the reflection of Heaven.” Once in a while someone listens and believes…and his world changes. FORGIVE and change the world.