Forgiving our Faults
Very few of us can totally embody all of the truth that comes to us in life. The body was not made to hold truth. When truth comes to you, you feel responsible to speak for it even if you cannot fully actualize it in your life. That sets up an insecure state of mind. You become afraid that people will think you are a fake and judge you accordingly. Often people set up holy images of themselves in public according to what they think they SHOULD embody. Eventually the image breaks and the person’s life is publicly damaged, like big-haired preachers caught in a love sting! They tearfully repent in public and thereafter accept a lesser role for themselves. This is all unnecessary. We can and should admit to one another that we are not the embodiment of all the truth that has come to us in life. Truth is eternal and changeless. The body is temporal and subject to change and apparent death. We must learn to forgive our brothers. But it is just as important to learn to forgive ourselves. We all think we are a body. We all think we are separate from one another and God. If we no longer believed that we would not be here. The universe would disappear, as one day it will. But for now we think we are egos, housed in bags of flesh, subject to change, error, bad judgment and death. I am just learning to go easy on myself. I cannot infallibly embody all the truth that has come to me. I still believe I am an ego. I have been given many gifts in this life. If you judge me you may think you could have made more of them than I did. I am just learning not to judge myself that way. Many of you may practice the spiritual system called A Course in Miracles. You make know the story of Helen Schucman receiving and scribing this system from Jesus. You might make a judgment that Helen was therefore, an embodied actualization of the principles in A Course in Miracles. After all, her mind was in contact with Jesus. But the truth is that Helen considered herself an atheist and was in terrible conflict with A Course in Miracles. She could not embody it. In her last years she was terribly depressed. But that does not diminish the work she did in taking down the Course. We need to give each other a break. We will if we learn love. If we keep our eyes on Jesus we will be less prone to making hero idols out of our brothers. All idols must fall. Think how difficult it must be for your brother when you view him as a holy ego who embodies something you value. Instead of putting him on a pedestal, can you not see him as connected to you, as part of the One Mind you both share?
Let me tell you a little story that will illustrate what I have been trying to say. While I was a student at one of my higher education institutions, I had classes with a professor of theology who was beloved by all. We idolized him. We considered him the embodiment of truth. But then tragedy struck his house and one of his family members was killed. He did not properly grieve. Perhaps he didn’t feel he had permission to grieve. A few years later, this wonderful professor began to act in ways totally out of character for him. The school was shocked to hear that he was luring female students to his office to have sex with them. At first the school tried to ignore it. But he made his behavior such a campaign to lure in all the girls he could that it could not be ignored. But school officials acted out of love rather than judgment. They recognized that his unreleased grief was impelling him to act in destructive ways. He was released from his teaching but they got him psychological help and help for the girls he abused. In a few years he was stable again and was teaching theology in another institution. It would have been easy to have judged him, thrown him out, black-balled him and ruined the rest of his life. What prevented that from happening was the love the school felt for him, and they felt love for him just as he had given so much love to everyone over the years. Our mistakes do not define us.
I cannot yet embody all the truth that has come to me. Forgive me please.