The Case of Jonah Parr

This story is true but I have changed the names and gotten permission to share the general story which is condensed here. This is the kind of work I have done as a medium. It is sort of like being a psychic social worker but it is one of the things I was given to do. I have a ministerial degree and had pastoral counseling while I was doing my pastoral internship. Then later in life I was trained as a Social Worker by the State of New York and had to counsel abused children and their parents. Later in life when it became obvious that my gifts were mediumistic I helped people with problems on different levels. This case I am sharing with you my friends because it has so much to teach. There is so much cruelty in the world, much of it happening to children. There was and is so much work to do. We are all just big used kids!! I should advise you that this case involves, violence, bad language, and references to terrible acts…but it ends well.

Here is the case of Jonah Parr.

I must explain again that the names and circumstances have been changed so Mr. Parr would feel free to allow me to share his story. All of our life stories are grist for the mill and may help others. The case is true, the names and places have been changed, and Mr. Parr agreed to allow me to use his story.

Jonah Parr telephoned me and asked for my help. He had been having very strange dreams that were terribly confusing. He thought that he might be possessed or he might be having a partial memory of another life time. I quickly consulted my guides to see if I was to work on this man. They gave the OK and I set a time for Mr. Parr to come over for an interview. He was a tall gaunt man who looked like he had just come out of the Great Depression. He wore a well-worn suit, shirt with no tie and no hat. I exchanged pleasantries with him and asked him to sit down.
He was from a large family in Kentucky but had moved to Canada to work in a corporate office. His family of six had lived in the country about two hours East of Bowling Green. His Father had been a part-time minister of a country Pentecostal Church and farmed the rest of the time.
“Could we talk about your Father,” I asked. Jonah fidgeted in his chair and said, “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Was your Father a loving man, Mr. Parr?” Jonah almost bolted out of his chair. He was standing straight up in the room, staring into space.
“Are you uncomfortable talking about your Father, Mr. Parr?”
“Yeah, I am damned uncomfortable, but I’ll talk to you if you can help me.”
That last part had sounded so lost and hopeless. “Well, why don’t you tell me whatever you can about him?”
Jonah began to pace about the room. “He abused people!” He shouted out. “He abused me and my mother, about as much as anyone can be abused. He did it to my sister as well. Nobody could talk about it….Do you want to hear my dreams or not?”
“Yes, sure.”
“Well I have a few that I just keep having. I am crawling on the floor. I can’t walk yet. I crawl into a room and I hear someone shouting, ‘Stop, please stop John. It hurts so much.’ And she was screaming ‘Stop, Stop, Stop.’ I recognized the voice as my mother, Olivia. The man who was on top of her got off and looked down at me. It was my father, John. ‘Why you little peepin Tom rug rat, I ought to drop kick you out of the house! You stay out of this room you little prick head.’ I crawled away.”
Thank you Jonah,” I said. “Let me ask you a little more about your father. Did you love him?”
Jonah looked very conflicted and said, “I don’t know. I feel guilty for not loving him.”
“You said he was a Preacher. How did you feel about that?” I asked
Jonah began to laugh a little but the laughter mixed with tears very soon.
“I hated him,” he sobbed. “I hated him because he was such a hypocrite. On Sundays he would go into that church and make everybody feel like he was so goody goody. We had to play the part of the nice preacher’s family. After the service he would bring us all to him and we would have to shake hands with everybody and pretend we were a happy family. Nobody knew what he was really like. I hated him for that.”

“Can you tell me what he was like?” I asked.
“He was a violent, no good, mother fucker. He cussed at us all like a sailor. He used to say to my brothers, James and Peter, “You worthless little motherfuckers! Look what you have done to me! I used to be somebody but now I am just a nigger for all you.” He told us every day that he hated us and that we were bags of shit, bastards, worthless pimples on his ass.”
“Did he call you names, Mr. Parr?” I asked. Jonah was silent for a minute or so.
“Yeah,” he finally said. But he only called me that someplace I can’t quite remember.”
“That’s OK,” I said, we have plenty of time. James, Peter, you, Mom and Dad, that is five. Who was the sixth person? I asked.
“That was my sister Ellie who was three years older than me.” Jonah grew quiet.
“Did your father also cuss at Ellie,” I asked.
“WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE TO BEGIN WITH.” Jonah exploded.
I quickly dowsed my guides to see if I should continue. They said yes, so I quietly said to him, “Mr. Parr, you said on the phone that you wanted my help. Do you still want me help?”
He stood up and just stared for some time and then said, “Yes…I need somebody to help me.” He began to cry and crumple up into a fetal position. “Won’t somebody help me?” He began to sob uncontrollably. I went over to him but did not touch him and quietly said, “I will help you Mr. Parr. He raised his head and spoke through the tears, “Really? Maybe you don’t know what you are getting in for.”
“That’s OK. I have a lot of helpers. We can help you. Are you able to continue?”
He stood up and walked over to a chair and sat down. “Yes, I am able.”
“Would you like some water, or coffee or tea?” I asked.
“Maybe just a glass of water.”
I got it for him and handed it to him. He seemed to be a little more calm.
“Mr. Parr,” I asked, “what was your mother like?”
He grimaced, but he softened and said, “I always loved her. She was gentle and kind. She almost seemed like she was in another world. I don’t know why she stayed with him. She let him use her like a punching bag. It was one thing for him to cuss at us and hit us. It was something else to do that to her!”
“Did your Father abuse your mother, Jonah?”
“ABUSE HER?” he asked in a sardonic voice. “He used to cuss at her the way he did us. If she tried to stand up for us when he came to beat on us, he would say, “I’ll beat you too, Livy.” And he would push her down on the floor. I so wanted to kill him right then. I would go to bed every night and beat my pillow pretending it was his face I was pounding. I would dream of getting his shotgun from his closet and just cut him down one night and laugh over him. I wanted to cut his dick and balls off and ram them up his ass with the shotgun.”
This was very revealing but I knew I could not inquire into it yet.
“Did your Father treat Ellie, the same way?” I asked.
“NOW I TOLD YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT NOT TO TALK ABOUT ELLIE! SHE WAS AN INNOCENT LITTLE GIRL. SHE NEVER HURT A LIVING SOUL AND SHE NEVER DESERVED WHAT SHE GOT! NEVER! IF I HAD KILLED HIM IN TIME….”
I asked my angels and guides to send me an angel of peace to come into the room. Soon Jonah began to cry again.
“Jonah? I quietly asked. “Can you tell me about the other dreams you have been having?”
He was silent for a moment and then he said, “I keep dreaming about the puppies,” and he started to weep again.
“Whenever you are ready please tell me about the puppies.” His face lifted up, all full of tears.
“We lived in the country. I told you that. We had about five acres. We had us a cow and two or three pigs, some chickens, and a big garden. We found lots of dogs but Dad would never let us keep em. But one Christmas mama brought home a puppy and told us we could keep it. She said she would find some way to square it with Dad. We named him Buster. We loved that dog because it loved us back. But by the time it had grown a bit we noticed Buster was really a girl. We thought about changing her name but we never did. About a year later we noticed that Buster was getting pretty fat. Mom told us that Buster was getting ready to have puppies. And one day, there in the barn, she did! Five beautiful puppies! It was the greatest happiness any of us kids had ever had. I was four years old at the time. One Sunday morning I was out in the barn playing with the puppies when mother called to me:
Mother: Jonah, come in and get ready for church. (Jonah comes inside and dresses in a little white shirt and dark trousers).
Father: (John Parr is 6 feet tall and 220 lbs.) “Jonah come here. Let me put your tie on.” (Jonah comes to him and he clips on a little tie.)
Mother: Are all you ready? We’re gonna be late for Sunday School.
When we came back from church we were sitting at the dinner table when mom asked:

Livey: what are we going to do with all those puppies? We cain’t keep um.

John: (chuckles between big bites, speaks with his mouth full) You just leave that to me Livey.
Jonah: Mother why can’t we keep the puppies?

Livey: Because Jonah, We are poor. We don’t have the food to feed all those puppies. They grow up to be big dogs and we cain’t feed all them. (Jonah is silent. The family finishes dinner.)
Livey: Ellie you wash the dishes and let Jonah dry.
Jonah: (speaks loudly for him) Oh Mother I want to go outside and play with the puppies.
John: You do what your Mother says Jonah or I’ll box you.

“Jonah, you have talked about physical violence, what did that phrase mean, ‘I’ll box you!’”
“When the old man wanted to,” said Jonah, “he would knock us around. His favorite punch was his fist to my face, or a back hand. He liked that one too. He would hit me and send me flying across the room. I was four years old. Sometime he liked to blister me with his belt, and at other times, a limb of a tree. He would always pull my shorts down and hit me right on the butt. He really liked my butt.”

“How did he like your butt?” I asked very gently. Jonah turned white and said, “I have had other dreams.”
“Could you tell me those dreams, Jonah?” I asked
“I don’t know.” He seemed very cautious
“You may hate me if I tell you the dream.”
I spoke very slowly and gently to his inner child. I told him this time and place had been given to us as a safe place where dreams could be told and no judgments made.
“Well, if I tell you, will you promise not to think I am a bad man?”
“Yes,” I said, “most definitely.”

“In the dream I am little again, about three years old. Bath time, bath time, bath time, water running. Mom is gone. The old man sent her shopping. Bath time. The old man comes into my room without a stitch of clothes on. I think I have seen him this way before but I’m not sure. His penis is so big. He looks like a giant. He takes all my clothes off and I am standing there naked with him. My head doesn’t even come up to his penis. He says, “We are going to take a bath together. You are big enough now. We are going to always bathe together.”
“Then I remembered that my older brothers had gone into the bathroom with him too, but they never talked about it. He took me by the hand into the bathroom. He turned on the water to fill the tub. Then he just looked at me. The way he looked at me scared me. Then he began to use his hand on his penis and pretty soon it was standing out straight. I was scared. He got in the bathtub first and spread his legs. His big penis was stranding straight up in the air between his legs. He told me to get in the tub and sit between his legs. As soon as I did he pulled me back into him. I could feel his hard penis pushing at me. I was really scared. Then he reached around me and picked up my little penis and said, “You just have a little tiny prick that is good for nothing. Feel mine.” And he put his penis up against my butt. He seemed to like my butt. Then he picked me up by my shoulders and sat me down on his big penis. I started to cry and call for mom, but she was not there and my brothers didn’t come.
“I am just going to give you a little taste tonight. I am just going to stick the head of my dick up your butt.”
All I remember then is pain and crying for mom. He got out of the tub and looked at me and said, “You didn’t give me any pleasure at all, you little shit, you little no good prick.”
“Is that when he called you a name Jonah” I asked
“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT! YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE WHAT HE CALLED ME!” Jonah was screaming.
“Was the name he called you different from the other curse words he used?” I asked
“Fuck you. How did you know? You fucking asshole!” Jonah spouted.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Jonah. It’s OK”
“OK. You wanna know? He called me “precious.” “PRECIOUS!” WHEN HE STUCK THE HEAD OF HIS DICK INTO MY BUTT HE CALLED ME PRECIOUS!” BUT I GUESS I DIDN’T PLEASE HIM ENOUGH BECAUSE I WASN’T PRECIOUS VERY LONG.”
Jonah began to cry and go into a fetal position. I comforted him. All of this had taken place in thirty minutes. Jonah had been dying to tell someone who would not judge him. I was about to go into a gentle close of the session when Jonah said, “Now do you want to know about the puppies?”
“Do you feel like you want to tell me?”
“Yeah, you gotta know.”
“That Sunday afternoon when I was four, Dad told all us kids to take an afternoon nap. When we got up he told us all to come out to the tool shed. When we got there, there was Buster and her puppies and Dad with a hammer in his hand. He said, ‘I told you not to get a dog. We cain’t afford em. Buster this is your last day on earth,’ and he hit her on the head hard with the hammer. She cried and then fell silent. ‘Now boys, each of you are going to take one of these puppies and knock it in the head.’ He gave the hammer to James, who began to cry. ‘Hush up,’ said the old man, ‘or I’ll give you something to cry about.’ He picked up a puppy and set it on the concrete right underneath James. ‘Now hit the damn thing, James,’ he screamed. ‘HIT IT! HIT THE LITTLE MOTHER FUCKER! HIT IT!’ But James wouldn’t hit it so Dad hit him. He hit him with his fist right in the mouth and knocked James out of the tool shed. So he gave the hammer to Peter and said ‘HIT IT YOU PRICK OR I’LL KILL YOU!’
“Peter was crying but he hit the puppy and it died. ‘NOW YOU PEE WEE,’ as he hands me the hammer,’ HIT THAT ONE THERE! HIT IT YOU LITTLE PUSSY. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT YOU LITTLE PRICK.’ So finally I hit it. It fell and cried and then it stopped crying. I so wanted to take that hammer and kill Dad with it. I wanted to see him fall down and cry and then die! WHY DID THE PUPPIES HAVE TO DIE? WHY? WHY? WHAT HAD THEY DONE TO BE KILLED SO HORRIBLY?”

“Jonah, you have experienced horrible things. Your mind has gotten confused over how to understand it all. When all of this happened you had the mind of a child. Children are not supposed to experience terrible things like these. Now I am going to tell you some things that are absolutely True. Listen.
You are not responsible for your father’s abuse. He is responsible for it. He had power over you and made you do things. You have not failed anyone and you are not a bad man. You were injured by your father because he was a bad man. You have nothing to feel guilty for.”
“But I let him do terrible things to me. I AM guilty.”
“Jonah, when you are that small you cannot stand up for yourself. Your parents are supposed to stand up for you. In your case, they were too sick to do that. But you are not to blame and you have nothing to be guilty for. You are as God created you. You are beloved as a Son of God.
“These dreams are not former lives or evidence of spirit attachment. They are your mind asking for help in solving these incongruities that your child mind could not solve. If we find anything more spiritistic we will deal with it. How does that sound?”
“So then you will help me?” he asked in almost the same tone as in the beginning.
“Yes, Jonah, I will be honored to help you. We can figure all this out. Would it be OK with you if we had just a short period of silence before we go?”
“Sure, I guess.”
I closed my eyes and went into spirit and asked my guides to bring in Jonah’s guides and healing spirits to work with us. I also called for an angel to come just to protect Jonah. He came. I asked for guidance to be able to bring about the greatest possible good for Jonah.

Do you think you will be able to sleep tonight?” I asked.
“My doctor gave me some meds to get me to sleep.”
“That’s good. Try to listen to relaxing music tomorrow and I will see you at 2:00PM the next day.
“Thank you. I can’t believe I actually told you all that stuff,” Jonah said
“I’ll be happy to see you day after tomorrow. If you have any problems or anxiety, please call me, OK?”
“OK, thanks. Bye.”
“Goodbye for now Jonah. See you soon.”

The Next Session

“It’s nice to see you again, Jonah. Would you like something to drink?”
“Water is all, as usual.”
“Then water it shall be.”

“Did you sleep well Jonah?”
“Not bad. I took those meds and I don’t remember any dreams…just as well.”
“Well, hopefully you won’t need that medication very much.”
“I see from my notes that you are 55 now. Are you mother and father still alive?”
“Ah Christ no. Mom died of leukemia ten years ago and the old man croaked from Alzheimer’s last year.”
“And what about your siblings, James, Peter and Ellie?” Jonah became very quiet.
“James died of a drug overdose when he was 29 and Peter joined the Army and was killed in Iraq. He was blown up by a land mine. There was nothing left to bury.”
“I am very sorry to hear this Jonah. Did you have a positive relationship with them?”
“Not much. When we got old enough to leave home, we all just sort of went crazy and scattered to the wind. None of us ever got past high school. James didn’t even graduate. I tried to go into business. I would do OK for a while but just when I was about to make it to the top something would happen to knock me back down again. This job I got now in Hawaii is going pretty good so far…as long as I don’t advance too far.”
“And what about Ellie? How is she?”
Jonah was silent.
“It’s OK.” I said. “We can talk about her later when it feels right.”
“It is never going to be OK Mr. Shore…James, Peter and I tried to protect Ellie from Dad but we were just kids. My sister was a sweet girl. She was innocent. She had beautiful, long blonde hair and a perky little smile. She was really popular in school and she was doing well…until she was about seven. We heard the doors creak at night. Her bedroom was next to mine. We got out of bed and went into the hall. There he was, right at her door. ‘You little bastards get back to bed before I kill all of you,’ he screamed at us. No way Mom didn’t hear it. He went into Ellie’s room. We heard her cries, ‘No Daddy don’t. I don’t want to do that.’ Then the sound of a slap and crying, and the old man’s voice, ‘Now put this in your mouth and suck on it. It’s good for you!’ There was just the sound of whimpering until Ellie screamed, ‘Daddy don’t. It hurts too much.’ And the old man moaning, ‘You’re my woman now Ellie. Your mother’s no good. It’s just you and me now. We’re going to do this every night.’”
“And he did…every night. When Ellie was 17 she got Dad’s shotgun one day while he was at work and shot herself. James, Peter and I decided we would kill him then. James attacked him straight on but the old man beat the shit out of him. Peter and I decided we would wait for our chance. The old man had a 1953 Nash Rambler that he took to work every day. We decided we would cut half way through his brake hose. If we were lucky he would find a last resting place in some ditch. He went into the ditch alright, but he survived. We left home then and the rest brings me here.”

“I am so very sorry Jonah,” as I fumbled for words.
“Jonah you came to me because I am a medium I would like to try to help you as a medium. Would that be OK?”
“Any help, any help, please,” Jonah choked out the words.
“The first thing I am seeing Jonah is that your father put a generational curse on you when he abused you in that bathtub as a toddler! Some father figure did that to him back there in the woods and he passed it on. Let’s get rid of it, from off your back!”
I went into spirit and asked help from all my spirit guides and angels to remove this generational curse. We did it. It was removed.
“How do you feel now Jonah?” I asked
“Oh my…I feel like a terrible weight has been taken off me!”
“Yes,” I said, “it has been and there is nothing from that curse left to hold you back. That curse had made you feel guilty and you projected that guilt on to the authorities in your life. You saw them as evil so that you wouldn’t have to feel guilty yourself. But as you can see, it didn’t work. It just kept you from making a success of your business life. Now you are free to accomplish what you want.
“Jonah, do you think now you could look back on that bathroom abuse and see who was to blame?”
“How?” he asked.
“Just begin to visualize your life moving backwards and see if you can look at that scene so etched in your mind. But this time you see it, you are in a safe place. Your spirit guides and angels go back with you. Look at that awful scene and tell me who is at fault?”
It took him only a minute, “My old man, of course. I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Right,” I said. “You were just a child. A bad thing happened to you to be sure, but it was not your fault, was it?”
‘”NO…IT WAS NOT MY FAULT,” he exclaimed as though he were really getting it!!!
“Now,” I said, “take a look at that little boy there in the bathroom.” What would you like to tell him? You can now. Spirit will help you to tell him something from your heart.
Jonah looked hesitant at first, but then I saw his eyes light up just as his guides came into the room. “I want to tell him,” Jonah began. “I want to say to him, ‘little Jonah’? You don’t know me but I know you. I want you to know that I love you, and others you don’t even know love you too. You have the strength to face these awful hurdles and make your way through the roughest of tests. I am going to be watching you and I am going to keep reminding you that I love you.”
“How did that feel Jonah,” I asked. He began to cry, but these tears were good ones.
“It felt like I really helped that little boy,” he said.
“Yes, and you did help that little boy and you will continue helping him through his life,” I said with some moist eyes of my own.
“But now we may need to make trips back for others there in that home,” I said. You need to speak truth to that family. We will take our time and we will go with spirit. Your and my guides, healing angels, guardian angels, are all here to take the trips with you and make it safe. Who would be the next person you would like to speak to back there?”
His eyes filled up and he said, “Ellie, of course.” We did the meditation and were soon there in Ellie’s room. “Ask spirit,” I said, to put your words into her mind.
“Ellie? Can you hear me? I love you. I have come to tell you the truth from my heart. You are a wonderful being. I can even say now, thanks to the help from some new friends, that you are God’s child, filled with His goodness and Love. I know bad things are happening to you, but just hold on. You have angels working overtime on you. Don’t give up! Don’t let the sadness and hurt win over you. Have faith that life will bring you something good! Please, believe me. I love you.”
As Jonah spoke those words to Ellie, my angels showed her to me in spirit. She was shining and gleaming with blond hair and a full smile. In her arms were five puppies, all very much alive. On either side of her stood guardian angels and to the sides there was a great throng of angels, praising God, and proclaiming, “Only Love is real.” I was so overcome, I burst into my own tears and told Jonah the scene I was seeing in Spirit.
“Can I see her,” he said. I asked my guides and angels if they could make this possible.
“Take one hand and put it between my eyes, and the other on the top of my head. Close your eyes and ask to see Ellie.”
“I see her, I see her, I see her. I see the puppies, the puppies, all alive and well. I love you Ellie. I love you. Now you are in your true Home and only Love will be your portion. I am so happy, so happy. You are alive. YOU ARE ALIVE!”
As he saw her, the angels on either side of her began to ascend with her while the choirs of angels sang the praises of God. We continued in this state of grace for quite some time. When we came out of it, we were both shining.
Jonah Parr became an executive Vice President with his company and married very late in life to a wonderful woman. They live now on five acres in Langley BC with many dogs, cats and other beasties that flock to their light! 

Image may contain: Teresa Dopyera, smiling
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The Creation myth of A Course in Miracles And You…Right Now

The Creation myth of A Course in Miracles is not supposed to be literal truth. It is intended to help us right NOW understand how we go into illusion and believe we are a body, a bio-bag of mostly water, separated from others and from God. If you have forgotten the ACIM creation myth, you can refresh your mind right here. https://maestroshore.com/2014/03/23/a-course-in-miracles-straight-up-no-water-or-tonic/ Most of my postings are sharings from my experience, and they come from my principle willingness to join with others. The first requirement for joining with another is we make a decision that what is in someone else’s interest is also in ours. You have an opportunity now to see that what is in my interest is also in yours.

Most of you know that I came to be A Course in Miracles student after a lifetime of work in Christianity. I was even a theologian with two degrees and an expectation of teaching in seminary for my life’s work. But in graduate school I got a real whiff that something was wrong in the garden. There was skunk cabbage where there were supposed to be roses! I just could no longer bear the smell of the essential story of Christianity. When the Course came to me I was a reluctant learner. ACIM has great shock value to the ego and it will pull you back from the Course. That happened to me too. I got so threatened by it at one point in my life that I made a detour back into fear and became a Pentecostal Christian. To be sure, it bothered me that I had to check my brains at the door. They were so anti-intellectual. But they provided a place for me to hide from The Course. With their fierce dualism and their belief in sin, guilt and fear, they were the ego system in organization and belief. I could hide out with hundreds of other people! But eventually the lack of love left a real bitter taste in my mouth. They did not know unconditional love, nor even that they SHOULD know it! Their “love” was very conditional, which means it wasn’t love; It was judgment and they were ready, willing and able to dish it out to you if you strayed from their template of what they thought you should be! After a bitter dish of their judgment I realized that I was in the wrong place. Slowly I found my way back to The Course and have never left it since! I want Love’s Presence, not judgment.

Now this story is exactly what the ACIM creation myth is teaching us. When we choose fear and carve out a system of beliefs based on fear, we choose the illusion of separation from Love’s Presence. We are then lost. We believe in sin, guilt and fear and accept a world based on them. Then I am a body, a flimsy, disease ridden body, bound to die, marooned in a world without Love, a world where insane beings come to die! What made me leave Love’s Presence and choose fear? Simply the crazy, insane little idea that I would be diminished if I were nothing but the Love of God!! Why was I threatened by The Course? Because I wanted to be MY distinct, special, unique personality of Joe Shore, living the life he wanted! That unique personality, in order to be considered eternally real, needs a belief system of dualism based on fear! Of course, to perceive loss of that is a terrible threat!!! Time to laugh now! The Course tells us that when this insane thought comes to us that we must remember to laugh!!! Laugh at the crazy idea that we could be something different than the Love of God! Keep Laughing! I am just as God created me, the radiance of His Love. I am not a body. I am free, for I am just as God created me.

 

Free Will and A Course in Miracles

Free Will and A Course in Miracles

What about FREE WILL? Do we have free will? According to the common sense view of life, the universe is real and we are real as separate individuals. We are all separate from one another, from nature, from other animals, and from God Himself. In this world of individuality we have desires, personal ambitions, and certainly we exert our “free will” to try to make them come to pass. So, in the common sense view of the world, of course we all have free will. You can jump up and down and declare to the heavens that you are a unique individual and, come the end of your life, you can sing the song, “I did it MY way.” In your life as an individual you may even use certain spiritual thought systems that help you “manifest” more stuff that you think you want, although next year your stuff will go out of style and you’ll have to manifest new stuff, but PRAISE GOD, you are an individual and can trace your genealogy back to Adam and Eve. After all, “God” created us as individuals, didn’t he? Careful my common sense friend. Even the scientists within this common sense world are now saying that the universe is not real! They are coming to the conclusion that the universe is more like a hologram…or a…dream! Whoa! That would mean that we as “individuals” were characters in a…dream! You have surely had some very vivid dreams in your life which contained many characters. The dream seemed real at the time you were experiencing it! So tell me. Did those characters in your dreams have (wait for it) FREE WILL? Of course not, you say. They were just part of my mind that was dreaming. In dream analysis, all the characters in the dream are a part of YOU! They seemed to be separate characters in the dream, but it was just a dream! For thousands of years, one of the world’s great religions, Buddhism, has been telling us that our experience in the world is more like a dream. Now Quantum Physicists agree!

Into this discussion now comes the spiritual system known as A COURSE IN MIRACLES. ACIM tells us a different story. Instead of the common sense one, it tells us there is a God created universe of spirit (or Mind) and a dream universe that we think is real. In the real universe of spirit which God created there is perfect Oneness. There are no individuals. There is God and His one Son, also called “Christ,” who God created by extending himself, sort of, by analogy, like the rays of our physical sun radiating light from it. The Father (God) and the Son are totally One. There is no place where the Father ends and the Son begins. They are totally One, totally unconditional love, totally true, and totally factual. In this universe of spirit (or Mind) Love is continually extending itself. There is also only One Will which is the Will of God, totally inclusive and indivisible. It is not possible in this real world for anything to be outside of the Will of God.

ACIM then gives us a spiritual epic myth to give us a deeper picture than Adam and Eve. It’s intention is to help us see NOW rather than some remote time in the very distant past. It says that in calm eternity where all is One, something SEEMED to happen which was impossible. A “tiny, mad idea” popped into the Mind of the Son that He could somehow be different from His Father. Since that could not be true, the Son fell into a little dreamlet in which He was split off from His Father and could now observe. In reality, in Heaven, there is no observer because there is total Oneness. But the Son now has fallen into a dream and believes he can observe as a separated Being. In His dream he now thinks he has a mind which appears to co-exist with the Mind of God and Christ. He believes He has split off from Oneness, which of course could never happen, but in His dream it appeared to happen. That split mind now has two reactions to the split it thinks it has made, two reactions to the “tiny mad idea.” One voice is what the Course calls the “ego,” and it says to the separated son, “boy you have really done it! Look how you have hurt God! He gave you everything and you have spit in His face. You have stolen the crown jewels! Do you really think He is going to let you get away with that? He is going to hunt you down like the mad dog you are and He is going to destroy you!” The ego is the thought that the separation from God has actually happened, just as the awful story of God, Adam and Eve and the Garden tells us! The other Voice is what the Course calls “The Holy Spirit” or the voice of Jesus. It speaks for the truth and says, “it is just a little dream. Nothing has happened. Laugh it off and just wake up.” The Holy Spirit is the memory of who the Son really is and He has taken this memory with Him into the dream. Now for some reason, we will never know why, the Son believed the ego’s story. He believed He had indeed hurt God by separating from Him. The ego gives a very nasty word for this act of separation. The ego calls it “sin” and now the split minded separated son has committed it! This is the beginning of all guilt or self-hatred. This is also where the fear of God comes from. The ego has turned the Love of God into the wrath of God, something that could never exist in truth in God’s Mind. The tale of the ego is one of sin, guilt and fear, its very unholy trinity. When the Son of God becomes identified with the ego thought system of sin, guilt and fear, he identifies himself as sinful, guilty, and fearful. The workbook says at one point, “You think you are the home of evil, darkness and sin” (W-pI.93.1:1). So the separated son, now fearful of the wrath of God decides to hide from God. He projects a physical universe in which to hide from God. And as he enters through the Big Bang he splinters into zillions and zillions of pieces, star dust, planets, matter, life forms, including humans. Now the separated son has a body to hide in. He is an individual now, as far away from Oneness as he can get, for he fears Oneness now. The ego tells Him that this Oneness the Holy Spirit talks about is really extinction. So he hides from God in a body in a physical universe of his own making by projection. The tiny mad idea has been projected outwards to create an entire fake universe full of bodies for the son to hide in. The Course says “This world was made as an attack on God. …[it] was meant to be a place where God could enter not” (W-pII.3.2:1,4) By the dynamics of denial and repression, the knowledge of who he really is gets buried in the dream. He must believe he is a separate individual in a body. He takes up an identity in a body with other bodies and appears to live a life all based on sin, guilt and fear. SO WHERE IS FREE WILL IN ALL OF THIS? Did the Son have free will when he chose for the ego’s story of separation? He certainly had a choice but it was a choice within a dream. Can that be thought of as FREE will? Hardly. What about the individual bodies who now believe they are real? Do THEY have free will? In their dream world they appear to be able to choose things: a certain job, a certain house, a certain life style. But could you call this FREE WILL when it is happening in a dream world created by projection and upheld by denial and repression? Hardly FREE! So in this physical world bodies hide from God, who they fear is wrathful, assert their individuality (like the tiny mad idea wanting to be something different from the Father) and believe they have a will of their own which is opposed to the Will of God! This is all in the dream of the fake physical universe. Each split off son in a body is a hologram containing the whole truth within him. The truth of who he is lies in him buried under denial and repression. Now we come to the essence of the Course which is all about MIRACLES. A miracle introduces a pause into our “normal” thinking. It gives us a gap in time. It brings us back to the truth that we chose wrongly for the ego and now we can choose rightly for The Holy Spirit’s view. THAT is FREE WILL. It is within the son’s power to decide again, choose again this time for the Holy Spirit. As he does, the memory of who he really is comes back to him. He can see that he is NOT a body! He is a spirit, a mind, and can choose again. He can forgive all the other bodies he interacted with because he sees now that he has been in a dream. His mind has been split into two parts, a wrong mind which believes the ego’s thought system, and the right mind which believes the Holy Spirit’s answer: “This is all a dream. Separation from God could never occur in truth. You are still as you were. I am not a body. I am free for I am still as God created me.” Gradually the son begins to come out of denial and repression and learn the truth. He is not a body. He is the Son of God. The Holy Spirit’s job is to bring together all the separate pieces of the son together. We help in this with our free choice to forgive our brothers for what we thought they did to us. The Peace of God comes to us and at some point we experience ourselves as simply The Love of God. Our bodies now become a useful tool in the hands of the Holy Spirit. Instead of hiding from God in a body, we learn the lessons that will help us all to awaken from the dream. Is there free will in this? Yes. The choice to join again with our Father is a FREE choice because it brings Truth. The choice to join our will with the Will of God is a FREE choice because it brings freedom. That is where we are today in the epic story. Either you are hiding from God and proclaiming your greatness as an individual or you are joining with the Holy Spirit in bringing the pieces of the Sonship together. Which will it be? Will you proclaim yourself an eternal individual forever separate from God or will you choose to rejoin with the Oneness of God and His Son? As soon as you see that it is not a fearful thing to rejoin with God, you will quickly and easily choose to do so. But as long as there is fear left, rejoining will give you fearful images of losing this great individual you think you are. That was the ego’s story, that the tiny individual will be annihilated within the ocean of God. That was the starting delusion of the dream, that the son could somehow be more than God! That one silly mistake in thought has given rise to our world of a physical universe filled with individual selves. To enhance the dream, individuals created religions to glorify the individual. New Age spiritualities came to call the individuals great and powerful beings who could “create” whatever they want. You see how clever the Ego is? It created religions, old and New Age, to bolster its story of glorious individuality.

What could you want that the Love of God could not give you? Would you choose sin, guilt and fear over everlasting Love? If you broke free of denial and repression and knew yourself to be the Glory of God, would you go back to your little self? If you knew the Will of God encompassed you with nothing but Love for you, would you try to exert your own little will against His? All of these questions are before you TODAY and they call for a choice! The son of God can choose again and follow the Voice of Jesus back to our true identity and true Home. For the time has come and the choice must be made. Would you remain in chains and hold your brothers captive with you? Or would you choose to forgive them and receive your own salvation as you bestow it on them?

Do not fail to heed my voice, dear brothers, for the time has come and you must choose again, and in this I have perfect certainty that you will choose for Heaven. There is but a ladder reaching from your dream world to the Heaven which is your Home. I stand at the top of the ladder and reach down to take your hand. I will not fail you for it has been given me to succeed. We are but a tiny step away from Heaven’s Gate and we will awaken into our Home.