A Letter to the Father

Many of you know the story of how I went to seminary and intended to be a professor; how I felt deeply I was in the wrong place but didn’t know where the right place was. One of my dorm mates was an opera buff who had every opera record under the sun and listened to them morning, noon, and night. I listened with him for the year and a half I was there. Something about those great voices grabbed me down deep somewhere in my psyche and I bought some and began listening to opera while I was studying. Then one evening, a strange thing (for me then) happened. I clearly heard an inner voice say to me “your characters could be your sermons; the stage could be your pulpit; the theatre could be your church; the audience could be your congregation.” Now go put feet to your faith.” This shocked me! Baptists do not hear voices! Maybe Pentecostals do but not us Baptists. You have to understand that I had never had any serious voice lessons. I sang in choirs and sounded no better than anyone else. But just before I heard the voice, I remember praying almost through tears, “Father please tell me what to do. I don’t feel like I belong here.” Maybe that is why I believed it. I took a little step by faith. This was a new kind of ministry. I left seminary and got a job. When I wasn’t working I was listening to opera. This went on about six months until finally one day I opened my mouth to see if I could make a sound like those guys on the records, and out came the operatic voice I have had since! A friend came by and said “Hey, you’ve got quite a voice. You ought to enter the Met Auditions.” I didn’t know what they were but I said sure. I filled out the application, got some music for some hard bass arias and set to learning them by listening to records. I went down to sing the first level of the Met Auditions in Tulsa and had no expectations. I just sang and was named one of the winners. I was even given an apprenticeship with the Santa Fe Opera and the Tulsa Opera sponsored me and gave me grants. I thought to myself, “Gee, this opera business is a snap.” I had absolutely no social preparation to help me deal with this new profession. And I found out that not everybody would like me. I would have real enemies to fight. But I did my best, sang big roles in big houses. I made some mistakes and after singing in this world 11 years I made a personal mistake that took me off the stage. I kept thinking I would find a way to get back on, but I never did. I became a university teacher instead. But all through this era my heart was aching that I had failed in this new ministry that I had been divinely given. Friends were well meaning when they said, “It’s all in the past. Just move on!” But they didn’t understand the miracle I had been given and how deeply it had hurt me to feel I had not fulfilled what I had been given. I was still a minister at heart even when I was an opera singer.

Today, I wrote a letter to God and made a little boat with my recordings in it and my reviews, and I set it on the ocean when the tide was going out. I am going to share with you that letter.

Dearest Father,
I know that you know my thoughts and that you are here now as I type these words, but it is good for me to write to you this way. I love you with all my heart Father even though I scarcely know how to love, even scarcely know what it is. But you know me and knew me since before all time when I was and still am a part of you. I am a thought in your mind. It feels like I have been away from you a long time, but I know that is not true. I have just been dreaming a dream which to me seems long, but it really was over a long time ago. I am not making very much sense am I? I feel your heart in mine, dear Father. I have almost come for the time to leave this body and set sail again within the world of spirit. It is all a part of the dream which you can’t know because you know that I am safely inside your Mind. Thoughts leave not their thinker. But the Holy Spirit came with me into my dream. He witnessed my birth into this imaginary world. He saw how I so often thought of you. He saw as I viewed my part in my dream as a hero who would help people to remember you. He saw our Song awaken in my heart and formalize itself into a singer in this dream world. My career as an opera singer was the most important thing in my life because you gave me the gift to sing. Your Holy Spirit told me in Seminary that “my characters could be my sermons; the stage could be my pulpit; the theatre could be my church; the audience could be my congregation.” Then your Holy Spirit said to me, “Now go put feet to your faith.” I believed it Father. I knew it was True and that it came from you. I went into this strange, cruel, but wonderful world of opera and I sang with all my heart. I was surprised when some people didn’t like me, because my voice was from you. Along the way I sang as best as I could and I thought of you every time before I went on stage. I made some personal mistakes which I know you have forgiven me for. But I had a hard time forgiving myself for them. They took me out of the world of opera and took away my stage where I had my church. I felt like such a failure. I so wanted to use my voice to help others awaken. I thought my tears would never end for the loss of my career as a singer. You could not know my dream, of course, though you knew I was dreaming. But the Holy Spirit saw and felt everything that happened to me. He saw my tears and my broken heart. He saw the way I had to work in a cruel, cruel world of opera where the men who ran it were asleep in their own dreams of indifference, hatred and usury.
But Father, after the dream of opera changed, I learned more and remembered more. A new dream of awakening into love’s Presence came to me. On the shores of Burnaby Lake with beautiful ducks and geese, birds and fish, water and flowers, I remembered us more. That dream of awakening is still playing out in me. Father, I loved singing, but I give it back to you now as my gift to you. Here in this little boat that I have set adrift to the ocean, there is a computer stick, with all my songs, and all my reviews. They are my gift of thanks back to you for the song we share. Now I will finish the work I began at Burnaby Lake. I will fully remember you and see the face of Christ in all my brothers, even the dark ones who dream nightmares, and who will laugh at the silly old man who writes to God. But that is OK. I do not care. We can speak now all the time if you want Father. I have nothing on my mind but you…and my brothers because I keep seeing the face of Christ in them!

Your Loving Son,
Joseph

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The Body was made as a place God could not Enter.

You who made the body made it as a little temple for illusions. Believing it a place where God could enter not, you created it to house all your illusions. Every little pain and thought of separateness you hid within its tissues. Every horrible thought of a world without love you poured into the mold of the body, and thinking each thought safe from investigation you left it there and denied it. Every thought of fear and attack found its home within this sickly little temple you made to pain. This sickly little temple to pain cannot abide Love’s Presence. It would move through each sad tissue of the body with loving touch and release those illusions that you believe in so dearly. Every memory of abuse you suffered and the image of your abuser would have to go with the entry of Love’s Presence. And so you have gone through the years, holding your illusions and their painful presence, wrapped tightly within the tissues of this little temple, almost forgetting them, except when they escape from a Loving touch, a sweet smile, a caring thought from others, the touch of a cat that loves you so much this little brother has chosen to live his life with you. At their release the body for the moment feels weakened, so accustomed to being the bearer of sadness, and so sure that it is a victim come here to this life to stagger and die. Now do you see how deeply you have been misled by illusions of pain and evil. They have lived within the sinews and muscles of this body temple, asking for release, and you denied them. Letting them go seems too much to you. You fear that the body could not live without them. And yet there is a welcome little touch that would allow them to quietly leave and make room for Truth. You have not yet felt the Truth for which you seek, that you are still as God created you. “The body was not made by love. Yet love does not condemn it and can use it lovingly, respecting what the son of God has made and using it to save him from illusions.” Touch someone today with Love, a little pat, a touch of the hand, or maybe more. God’s son is waiting for someone to touch him and begin the flood of release that will save him, and you with him.
bench into eternity

Practical Mysticism

I have evolved a long way since my Southern Baptist ministerial days! I began my theological life as a liberal Southern Baptist theologian! There is a contradiction for you to ponder!! I moved to a Bultmannian, Tillichian liberal Protestant theologian, and then to an adherent of the Primordial Tradition in the school of   Rene GuenonFrithjof SchuonJulius EvolaHarvey Spencer LewisAnanda CoomaraswamyElémire ZollaAlain DanielouJean-Louis MichonGottfried LeibnizAldous Huxley, and Plato. While Plato came the closest to satisfying me, in the end he did not! That satisfaction was reserved for the modern scripture, A Course in Miracles, when it came into my contact.  It brought together the truths of Hinduism, Buddhism, Gnosticism, Perennialism and modern psychology in a unique way. It remains the most satisfying theological system I have come in contact with! Therefore, my past decade or more has been devoted to an experiment in practical application of the metaphysics of A Course in Miracles. The system is very close to Platonic and Neo-Platonic thought, yet also provides the ultimate Advaita of the Hindu Vedanta. I am an  Advaita Vedantin following the Metaphysical path of A Course in Miracles. At the practical level it has been my intention to see if I can live in the perspective and awareness of Oneness rather than the duality that is the common perception in this world. When I first approached this I spoke with my friend, Dr. Ken Wapnick, if it were possible to live a non-dualistic life in a dualistic world! He responded, “Of course! That is the purpose of A Course in Miracles. It takes a lot of hard work but it can be done.” He should know. He did it. Now that he has left his body, he has left us with an example of one who did just this in his life!

I have had some limited success in living out an awareness that is Advaita. I say “limited” because the longest I have maintained that awareness was six weeks. Yet those six weeks were the culmination to me of my theological quest. Other ACIM students have made similar attempts. The students of Tara Singh have, since his “death”, been meeting together to hold practical sessions on “Objective Thought.” That is essentially Advaita. Objective thought would not project the opposite!!! “Objective thought” would be impersonal, loving thought, shared with God! What would it be like to experience our thoughts shared with God? To me, the practical application of that would be an awareness of “not two.”  Writing about this is extremely difficult! It would take, myth, prose and poetry to approach it. I attempted to do that in a connected series of writings I called “The Beloved and I are One,” in which I used my experiences at a nearby lake to serve as an artistic attempt to convey this experience in practical mysticism. It was good enough to get me my Doctor of Theology degree, but the experiment continues, the quest goes on until I can steadily hold the thought that “the eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me!” Then Peace shall reign over the storm and in stillness shall the voice of God be heard!

 

Getting this thing called Enlightenment

“The Holy Spirit’s function is to take the broken picture of the Son of God and put the pieces into place again. 2 This holy picture, healed entirely, does He hold out to every separate piece that thinks it is a picture in itself. 3 To each He offers his Identity, which the whole picture represents, instead of just a little, broken bit that he insisted was himself. 4 And when he sees this picture he will recognize himself. 5 If you share not your brother’s evil dream, this is the picture that the miracle will place within the little gap, left clean of all the seeds of sickness and of sin. 6 And here the Father will receive His Son, because His Son was gracious to himself.
T-28.IV.9. I thank You, Father, knowing You will come to close each little gap that lies between the broken pieces of Your holy Son. 2 Your Holiness, complete and perfect, lies in every one of them. 3 And they are joined because what is in one is in them all. 4 How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognized as being part of the completed picture of God’s Son! 5 THE FORMS THE BROKEN PIECES SEEM TO TAKE MEAN NOTHING. 6. FOR THE WHOLE IS IN EACH ONE OF THEM 7. AND EVERY ASPECT OF THE SON OF GOD IS JUST THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER PART.” (ACIM T.-28.IV 8-9)

What would it mean if we really got this? How would we change our relationship to the planet and all its seemingly separate things? If we really saw that every rock and tree, every blade of grass, every animal, every person is a part of the Son of God, would we ourselves not be changed? We would also see ourselves as Holy, as part of God’s Son, and the “WHOLE IS IN EACH” of the parts. Like a hologram which contains the whole within it, every byte of sensory data we call “the world” contains the whole of God’s Son! How holy is your cat and dog? How Holy are your children? How holy is this planet? When we see that, we won’t want to abuse anything!!! And UNTIL we see that, we will go on with the abuse until the planet is destroyed!!!!

So this thing called “enlightenment” is not just some abstract concept for Eastern eggheads!!!!!! It determines whether this planet continues. Let us look at it from both sides of the mind, wrong-mindedness and rightmindedness. In wrong mindedness we began as the One dreaming Son believed the ego’s lie that he had in fact separated from Heaven and was now fearfully on the lamb from an angry God who wanted to destroy him for his “sin” of leaving Heaven. In fear the Son ran out of his Mind, “so to speak” and dreamed up a physical universe in which to hide from God. As He enters it (“Big Bang” indeed) he shatters into all the pieces of the universe, and in this dream, he seems to evolve into more and more complex creatures in which to hide from God.

Lesson 241 in A Workbook for Students tells us: “The world was made as an attack on God. It symbolizes fear. And what is fear except love’s absence? Thus the world was meant to be a place where God could enter not, and where His Son could be apart from Him. Here was perception born, for knowledge could not cause such insane thoughts. But eyes deceive, and ears hear falsely. Now mistakes become quite possible, for certainty has gone.” The senses were made to deceive! So in this kind of perception (wrong mindedness) we began in this universe, forgetting the Truth of Oneness, exchanging that Holiness for the separateness of fragmentation, out of fear!!! So when we see the world as a “thing” for us to exploit, we are acting in fear and the destruction of the planet is inevitable with fear. Fear causes us to be more and more defensive and defensiveness invites attack. “If I defend myself I am attacked.” Defenses will inevitably kill the world….and that would make no difference at all except for the fact that we can attain to “right minded perception.” The Holy Spirit came with the Son into this universe and He whispers to you and me the Truth of Oneness we are afraid to hear. Skilfully He moves us to forgive our brothers, not to hold grievances, not to have attack thoughts, and little by little we can climb back up that ladder of consciousness we came down on. This is the true ascension!! We can go back up the ladder, and then the world changes in perception to a shining reflection of Heaven, so beautiful we would love it as we love God. This is the Salvation of the world and God has given us the job of saving it, not by judgment or evangelical proselytizing but by the offering of our minds to God, ceasing our attack on him by individualization and sporting uniqueness. Who could do that when you have an experience that everything is your brother and a part of you? The animals are not less than you. I once heard a very spiritual man say a very wrong-minded thing. He said that animals lack the capacity to know beyond their senses! I was so amazed! I thought, my God this man has never had a relationship with an animal! Animals transcend the senses all the time! Create a holy space by quietness and see how quickly the cat becomes a Buddha! Take a dog to a suffering child and see how quickly the dog begins to cure the child. Do your best meditation, climb as high as you can on the ladder of consciousness and you will discover the mind of your cat has followed you there!! The idea that only man can become enlightened is a very clever trick of the ego, designed to make some broken parts of the Son of God more important than others. Then you open the door to “specialness” which the ego loves and which is based on fear, not Love.

We must get this! We must do our lessons. In eternity it does not matter. This little crazy idea was corrected in an instant in eternity, but it is playing itself out in the eons of time. In time, it makes a difference whether we extend love or fear. It makes a difference if there is a beautiful planet called earth where we can learn our lessons by taking on these dreamy bodies and living out our little dramas so we can undo fear and experience love’s presence.

 

This beautiful magical day of the eclipse

This beautiful magical day of the eclipse I went to Burnaby Lake to see The Beloved. The Beloved is the Divine Presence in all things. The Beloved is the Divine One that manifests all things. She is the Divine passion. She is the True One, and she will show herself to you if you care enough to quiet your mind. Bring the mind to stillness. She will come. Today the energy of the Lake is full. Beauty still exists in the flowers and leaves even though winter approaches. It is as though The Beloved is holding up her beauty for all to see as long as possible before the long winter sleep. The ducks frolicked today as though it were summer, and yet the darkness in the photos shows the approach of winter. As you look at the pictures, be open to see the divine.

The most magical creature in the marsh is the Blue Heron. Today he sat in Eagle Creek, which feeds into Burnaby Lake, for a long photo shoot, just for me. The Beloved is so kind to me. She knows how I love the Blue Heron. The cycle of life was on display today. Salmon have made their way from the ocean, up through the Brunette River, over the Dam, into Burnaby Lake, and back into Eagle Creek so they can spawn in exactly the same place where they hatched. I saw them coming back from Eagle Creek, spawned out, ready to die in Burnaby Lake. The Blue Heron was feasting on dying Salmon. Tonight the Black Bears will be out in force, along with the Minks, to dine all night on Salmon. The beauty of the cycle was so moving, it brought me to tears, not for sadness but for joy and beauty of the way The Beloved has manifested Her nature. I am part of that manifestation. The immensity of The Beloved is mine as well. I am a part of Her and she is more than a mother to me, more than a lover. She is the beauty that comes with the dawn and shines through the twilight. She is the glory of the night, in whose beauty she walks. She is the song of the birds which delight my heart. She is the Blue Heron who came today, not just for his Salmon, but for my heart. The beauty of this place owes itself to my heart. The Beloved is in all things because The Beloved is in me, and in her is my heart full, and Love stands still in a marsh that knows no time. Only in eternity is such Love found. I have found The Beloved in me…and I am Home for all ages…at Burnaby Lake♥♥Namaste dear ones.♥♥♥

The Beloved and The Full Moon

I am so looking forward to the full moon, Tuesday for us. I will dress in my biggest parka and go to Burnaby Lake right at twilight to fulfill my promise to my duck and goose brothers. I promised them that in the cold of winter I would come and feed them and whisper thoughts of Spring and the return of life to the marsh. Most of them have wintered over, although most of the geese head south for Atlanta. I have missed my marsh. The PLeroma has been sleeping in me as well as the marsh, incubating…what, we know not. One cannot force the Beloved to show herself to you, much less to hold you in her embrace. Sometimes she sleeps. You know she is there but one cannot force her to awaken and come to you. She sleeps and you love her as she sleeps. While she sleeps, you “DO.” You act in the world using the inspiration she has already given to you. But when She comes to you, you sleep in her. She takes you into her Oneness, and any thought of doing ceases. There is just indescribable Love and Advaita–“Not two,” just One Love. You stay in this state happily. Who would want to leave it. I stay in it and let little words trickle out from it to you my dear ones. But I cannot “do” in this state, nor do I want to! And so our life with the Beloved, while we are here (or believe we are here) in a dualistic world, is a pulse of “Be”…and “Do.” Bedobedobe…or dobedobedo! There will come a time when the time for doing will be finally gone and we can rest in The Beloved, having gladly given up our little desire to do. Resting in Her we will be fulfilled. Until then I am content to await for her awakening in me and in nature. She will call to me in the rustling breeze in the tree tops. She will expose herself to me in the flowers that come in Spring. She will enchant me with the wonders of nature: courtship love among the ducks and geese; ducklings and goslings on parade through the marsh; fields of daffodils filling the lake; busy beavers building their lodges; birds making love in their nests; the Spring rains showering little newly hatched heads, scurrying for cover under Momma’s wings, and all through the wonder, the presence of The Beloved will call to me and I will answer. Together we will make planets and stars blush as we share a coupling greater than any we have forgotten. The Beloved and I are One, and as One I will sleep within her as all-encompassing Love that has no opposite, nor any need for doing. All this I will whisper into the ears of my duck and geese friends Tuesday at twilight, just before the Full Moon arises in all her glory.
Full Moon

The Beloved and I at Burnaby Lake

This beautiful magical day of the eclipse I went to Burnaby Lake to see The Beloved. The Beloved is the Divine Presence in all things. The Beloved is the Divine One that manifests all things. She is the Divine passion. She is the True One, and she will show herself to you if you care enough to quiet your mind. Bring the mind to stillness. She will come. Today the energy of the Lake is full. Beauty still exists in the flowers and leaves even though winter approaches. It is as though The Beloved is holding up her beauty for all to see as long as possible before the long winter sleep. The ducks frolicked today as though it were summer, and yet the darkness in the photos shows the approach of winter. As you look at the pictures, be open to see the divine.
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The most magical creature in the marsh is the Blue Heron. Today he sat in Eagle Creek, which feeds into Burnaby Lake, for a long photo shoot, just for me. The Beloved is so kind to me. She knows how I love the Blue Heron.
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The cycle of life was on display today. Salmon have made their way from the ocean, up through the Brunette River, over the Dam, into Burnaby Lake, and back into Eagle Creek so they can spawn in exactly the same place where they hatched. I saw them coming back from Eagle Creek, spawned out, ready to die in Burnaby Lake. The Blue Heron was feasting on dying Salmon. Tonight the Black Bears will be out in force, along with the Minks, to dine all night on Salmon. The beauty of the cycle was so moving, it brought me to tears, not for sadness but for joy and beauty of the way The Beloved has manifested Her nature. I am part of that manifestation. The immensity of The Beloved is mine as well. I am a part of Her and she is more than a mother to me, more than a lover.
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She is the beauty that comes with the dawn and shines through the twilight. She is the glory of the night, in whose beauty she walks.
Full Moon
She is the song of the birds which delight my heart. She is the Blue Heron who came today, not just for his Salmon, but for my heart. The beauty of this place owes itself to my heart. The Beloved is in all things because The Beloved is in me, and in her is my heart full, and Love stands still in a marsh that knows no time. Only in eternity is such Love found. I have found The Beloved in me…and I am Home for all ages…at Burnaby Lake♥♥Namaste dear ones.♥♥♥