My Life Will Have To Do!

I went to Southwest Baptist University and got an B.A. in a double major, Theology and Speech/Drama. For the latter I got elected to Who’s Who in American Colleges and Universities. I did graduate work towards my M.Div at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. I did a pastoral internship and became a licensed Southern Baptist minister. However, I was not very happy with that denomination because they were becoming very right wing and anti-intellectual. But it was in seminary that I received an “inner call,” not to be a minister but to be an opera singer. Without any formal training in voice I entered the Metropolitan Opera Auditions of the Air in 1974 and won. I was given a two year apprenticeship with the Santa Fe Opera and made my stage debut there, then with the Tulsa Opera, which nourished me during my early years. I sang at the Metropolitan Opera in a Gala Concert in 1975 and was awarded the Gladys Axman-Taylor Memorial Award for being one of the ten National Winners of the Met Auditions. I moved to New York in 1975 and began studying with Jerome Hines and Cesare Bardelli of the Met and coached with Alberta Masiello, the head of the coaching department of the Met. For two years I had a mailbox at the Met because so many people were writing me there. Every day I would come in the side stage door and check my mail.  I made my New York stage debut in 1980 at the Brooklyn Academy with the Chamber Opera Theater of New York, in an opera by Sir William Walton called The Bear, based on the Chekhov farce by the same name, and received a great review from The New York Daily News. I became a member of Jerome Hines’ personal Opera Company and sang with him for 20 years. In 1981 I starred in the New York premiere of Rimsky-Korsakov’s opera, Mozart and Salieri, and received highly favorable reviews from New York critics as well as 100 critics from all over the world. From that point I sang leading roles in all the major opera companies in America and some in Canada and Europe. Some of the fun times were when I sang La Traviata  in Central Park with the New York Grand Opera. We also performed it at Coney Island and in Brooklyn. Also, in Lincoln Center, I sang a summer concert with the Guggenheim Concert Band.

I won several awards: Besides the Met Auditions, I won the national award for the WGN Auditions in Chicago and the Bruce Yarnell Memorial Award for Baritones in New York.

My European debut was in 1984 as Verdi’s Rigoletto which I played at the Belfast Grand Opera House as part of the Northern Ireland Opera Festival. One performance was broadcast over radio by the BBC. It was still dangerous over there then. We had a judge in the chorus who always had two body guards with him. The theatre itself celebrated Queen Victoria being named Queen of India and was ornately dressed with huge elephants all over the theatre, carved ones of course. The Director was the very famous Nicholas Hytner with whom I got along famously. Hytner went on to make many hit movies and became director of the National Theatre in England.

 

I was fortunate to sing with the great opera singers of that day who were international stars. I always felt my work in opera was to inspire my audience to look upward and ask the big questions in life: “What is Truth, Beauty, and Love.” Art cannot give the answers but it is very good at turning one’s gaze upwards. In short, I was trying to inspire people with my singing and acting. I felt that I could do it better on a stage than from behind a pulpit! But I did not lose my interest in theology. Far from it, I completed and finally received a legal Th.D degree in 2016 just out of my desire to finish something I started long ago.

I was Professor of Voice at the University of British Columbia, Indiana University, Perdue University of Indiana and the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. I am retired now but still teach a few students. It has been a long road from Carthage, and could have been longer. In 1982 I sang a concert based on war and peace, half in Russian (which I learned) and half in English, all high song literature on the subject, including Mussorgsky song cycle, “The Songs and Dances of Death” (sung in Russian). The sponsor for the concert,  which was to be held at Marymount Manhattan College in Manhattan,  invited the United Nations delegation from the Soviet Union and the delegation from The United States. The American delegates did not attend, but the entire Russian delegation came and filled the first three rows of the theatre. At the end of the concert, they rushed up on stage to thank me. The lead delegate said to me “That was real Russian you sang!” and we talked for a few minutes. He said he would try to get Goskoncert (the Soviet Art Agency, to invite me to perform in Moscow. All sorts of Congressmen recommended me to them including Rep Taylor from Missouri, but in the end it didn’t happen. In the course of my career I sang for US Representatives, Senators, Consuls, and Ambassadors. I almost sang for Jimmy Carter.  I met him in the elevator going down to my rehearsal! Stars of the Met became my good friends and even were my fans. At the Met, James McCracken, Jerome Hines, Ezio Flagello, Carlo Cossutta, Teddy Uppman, Gilda Cruz-Romo, Marilyn Niska were all my fans and I was their colleague. Those were the days!

Galina Vishnevskaya, the Russian soprano, who was exiled from the Soviet Union along with her husband, Rostropovitch, chose me to sing the leading Russian Baritone role in Tchaikovsky’s Opera, Iolanta, which she was to direct  at the Salzburg Festival. From hearing me sing, she thought I was Russian, so my Russian must have been pretty authentic. I sang the role of Boris Godounov many times in Russian. It was a role that fit me well, perhaps because I learned it from my teacher, Jerome Hines, who was one of the great Boris’ of all time. I received many reviews from world critics which placed me at the top of my operatic profession. But I developed personal enemies among the moguls who politically control opera because I would not depart from my goals to use opera to inspire people and uplift them. I would not do crazy things like wear a space suite and pretend to be singing on the moon, or sing totally nude! Such idiocies were creeping into opera even then. But I did the best I could to fulfill my dreams to use opera as an inspirational art. Hundreds of my performances are on youtube and have been seen worldwide now. I wish I could have done more, but the miracle is that I did all that I did fighting against congenital heart disease. I sandwiched my career in between three open heart surgeries.  My life will just have to do! 🙂

Joe 02-13-16

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Let us live in our Love and our Song

Let us leave the world of unforgiveness behind and live in our Love and our Song. The Song is not formal music. It is the eternal call to Home that the spirit hears in every rock and leaf, every grain of sand, every child’s face, every dog and cat’s response to our love for them. The Song is in you. I hear you singing it so sweetly. Oh precious Jesus how the world sings the song you know so well, the song of Oneness in praise of the Love that we are.

The world that was created by fear and anger we can now view through the eyes of newness. No longer must we see the world as separate factions fighting one another. We have forgiven the world of strife we created. Forgiveness now rests on our brows and on the world’s. Now can we see Heaven’s reflection made so perfect in the world. Now that Love has come into aching hearts, the need for time is almost gone. The One Song sings beautifully throughout a world which knew it not and all creation gives thanks to you and to the Creator. Now do we see the steps to Heaven’s gate on which you stand. Now we have no need for the world which served us so well with lessons to be learned. The time for learning is over. The time of the great rejoining has come and every tiny part of all universes has come to join the One Song we sing. And tears of joy come in recognition of the vast ages of time we have entered bodies to remember our eternal Self, One with the Creator, AND WE ARE ALL THE BELOVED. Gently do Heaven’s doors open to receive back its One Son. Gently does the Creator’s arm reach out and gather His Son back to Himself. Less than a tiny moment was taken to heal the tiny mad idea that seemed to set the Son on His long journey. The time for time is over. Now in eternity does all-encompassing Love flow unimpeded through a universe of spirit created by the Song. Forever shall we flow. And shall our little days as individuals be lost forever in Oneness? Oh no, dear ones. Every loving thought you ever had, every loving deed, is perfectly remembered within the Christ Mind that flows through Heaven. And now we say Amen for the time of learning is over and the time of rejoining has entered eternity, with you my loved ones, with you, and you, and you, and you, with your animals and children and every thought of love that lighted your little mind as an individual. Home safe we are, and we shall never leave again. No more dreams will enchant us. We are Home. Love has found itself at last…at last.

JOSEPH & BLANCHE-jpeg

The Case of Jonah Parr

This story is true but I have changed the names and gotten permission to share the general story which is condensed here. This is the kind of work I have done as a medium. It is sort of like being a psychic social worker but it is one of the things I was given to do. I have a ministerial degree and had pastoral counseling while I was doing my pastoral internship. Then later in life I was trained as a Social Worker by the State of New York and had to counsel abused children and their parents. Later in life when it became obvious that my gifts were mediumistic I helped people with problems on different levels. This case I am sharing with you my friends because it has so much to teach. There is so much cruelty in the world, much of it happening to children. There was and is so much work to do. We are all just big used kids!! I should advise you that this case involves, violence, bad language, and references to terrible acts…but it ends well.

Here is the case of Jonah Parr.

I must explain again that the names and circumstances have been changed so Mr. Parr would feel free to allow me to share his story. All of our life stories are grist for the mill and may help others. The case is true, the names and places have been changed, and Mr. Parr agreed to allow me to use his story.

Jonah Parr telephoned me and asked for my help. He had been having very strange dreams that were terribly confusing. He thought that he might be possessed or he might be having a partial memory of another life time. I quickly consulted my guides to see if I was to work on this man. They gave the OK and I set a time for Mr. Parr to come over for an interview. He was a tall gaunt man who looked like he had just come out of the Great Depression. He wore a well-worn suit, shirt with no tie and no hat. I exchanged pleasantries with him and asked him to sit down.
He was from a large family in Kentucky but had moved to Canada to work in a corporate office. His family of six had lived in the country about two hours East of Bowling Green. His Father had been a part-time minister of a country Pentecostal Church and farmed the rest of the time.
“Could we talk about your Father,” I asked. Jonah fidgeted in his chair and said, “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Was your Father a loving man, Mr. Parr?” Jonah almost bolted out of his chair. He was standing straight up in the room, staring into space.
“Are you uncomfortable talking about your Father, Mr. Parr?”
“Yeah, I am damned uncomfortable, but I’ll talk to you if you can help me.”
That last part had sounded so lost and hopeless. “Well, why don’t you tell me whatever you can about him?”
Jonah began to pace about the room. “He abused people!” He shouted out. “He abused me and my mother, about as much as anyone can be abused. He did it to my sister as well. Nobody could talk about it….Do you want to hear my dreams or not?”
“Yes, sure.”
“Well I have a few that I just keep having. I am crawling on the floor. I can’t walk yet. I crawl into a room and I hear someone shouting, ‘Stop, please stop John. It hurts so much.’ And she was screaming ‘Stop, Stop, Stop.’ I recognized the voice as my mother, Olivia. The man who was on top of her got off and looked down at me. It was my father, John. ‘Why you little peepin Tom rug rat, I ought to drop kick you out of the house! You stay out of this room you little prick head.’ I crawled away.”
Thank you Jonah,” I said. “Let me ask you a little more about your father. Did you love him?”
Jonah looked very conflicted and said, “I don’t know. I feel guilty for not loving him.”
“You said he was a Preacher. How did you feel about that?” I asked
Jonah began to laugh a little but the laughter mixed with tears very soon.
“I hated him,” he sobbed. “I hated him because he was such a hypocrite. On Sundays he would go into that church and make everybody feel like he was so goody goody. We had to play the part of the nice preacher’s family. After the service he would bring us all to him and we would have to shake hands with everybody and pretend we were a happy family. Nobody knew what he was really like. I hated him for that.”

“Can you tell me what he was like?” I asked.
“He was a violent, no good, mother fucker. He cussed at us all like a sailor. He used to say to my brothers, James and Peter, “You worthless little motherfuckers! Look what you have done to me! I used to be somebody but now I am just a nigger for all you.” He told us every day that he hated us and that we were bags of shit, bastards, worthless pimples on his ass.”
“Did he call you names, Mr. Parr?” I asked. Jonah was silent for a minute or so.
“Yeah,” he finally said. But he only called me that someplace I can’t quite remember.”
“That’s OK,” I said, we have plenty of time. James, Peter, you, Mom and Dad, that is five. Who was the sixth person? I asked.
“That was my sister Ellie who was three years older than me.” Jonah grew quiet.
“Did your father also cuss at Ellie,” I asked.
“WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE TO BEGIN WITH.” Jonah exploded.
I quickly dowsed my guides to see if I should continue. They said yes, so I quietly said to him, “Mr. Parr, you said on the phone that you wanted my help. Do you still want me help?”
He stood up and just stared for some time and then said, “Yes…I need somebody to help me.” He began to cry and crumple up into a fetal position. “Won’t somebody help me?” He began to sob uncontrollably. I went over to him but did not touch him and quietly said, “I will help you Mr. Parr. He raised his head and spoke through the tears, “Really? Maybe you don’t know what you are getting in for.”
“That’s OK. I have a lot of helpers. We can help you. Are you able to continue?”
He stood up and walked over to a chair and sat down. “Yes, I am able.”
“Would you like some water, or coffee or tea?” I asked.
“Maybe just a glass of water.”
I got it for him and handed it to him. He seemed to be a little more calm.
“Mr. Parr,” I asked, “what was your mother like?”
He grimaced, but he softened and said, “I always loved her. She was gentle and kind. She almost seemed like she was in another world. I don’t know why she stayed with him. She let him use her like a punching bag. It was one thing for him to cuss at us and hit us. It was something else to do that to her!”
“Did your Father abuse your mother, Jonah?”
“ABUSE HER?” he asked in a sardonic voice. “He used to cuss at her the way he did us. If she tried to stand up for us when he came to beat on us, he would say, “I’ll beat you too, Livy.” And he would push her down on the floor. I so wanted to kill him right then. I would go to bed every night and beat my pillow pretending it was his face I was pounding. I would dream of getting his shotgun from his closet and just cut him down one night and laugh over him. I wanted to cut his dick and balls off and ram them up his ass with the shotgun.”
This was very revealing but I knew I could not inquire into it yet.
“Did your Father treat Ellie, the same way?” I asked.
“NOW I TOLD YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT NOT TO TALK ABOUT ELLIE! SHE WAS AN INNOCENT LITTLE GIRL. SHE NEVER HURT A LIVING SOUL AND SHE NEVER DESERVED WHAT SHE GOT! NEVER! IF I HAD KILLED HIM IN TIME….”
I asked my angels and guides to send me an angel of peace to come into the room. Soon Jonah began to cry again.
“Jonah? I quietly asked. “Can you tell me about the other dreams you have been having?”
He was silent for a moment and then he said, “I keep dreaming about the puppies,” and he started to weep again.
“Whenever you are ready please tell me about the puppies.” His face lifted up, all full of tears.
“We lived in the country. I told you that. We had about five acres. We had us a cow and two or three pigs, some chickens, and a big garden. We found lots of dogs but Dad would never let us keep em. But one Christmas mama brought home a puppy and told us we could keep it. She said she would find some way to square it with Dad. We named him Buster. We loved that dog because it loved us back. But by the time it had grown a bit we noticed Buster was really a girl. We thought about changing her name but we never did. About a year later we noticed that Buster was getting pretty fat. Mom told us that Buster was getting ready to have puppies. And one day, there in the barn, she did! Five beautiful puppies! It was the greatest happiness any of us kids had ever had. I was four years old at the time. One Sunday morning I was out in the barn playing with the puppies when mother called to me:
Mother: Jonah, come in and get ready for church. (Jonah comes inside and dresses in a little white shirt and dark trousers).
Father: (John Parr is 6 feet tall and 220 lbs.) “Jonah come here. Let me put your tie on.” (Jonah comes to him and he clips on a little tie.)
Mother: Are all you ready? We’re gonna be late for Sunday School.
When we came back from church we were sitting at the dinner table when mom asked:

Livey: what are we going to do with all those puppies? We cain’t keep um.

John: (chuckles between big bites, speaks with his mouth full) You just leave that to me Livey.
Jonah: Mother why can’t we keep the puppies?

Livey: Because Jonah, We are poor. We don’t have the food to feed all those puppies. They grow up to be big dogs and we cain’t feed all them. (Jonah is silent. The family finishes dinner.)
Livey: Ellie you wash the dishes and let Jonah dry.
Jonah: (speaks loudly for him) Oh Mother I want to go outside and play with the puppies.
John: You do what your Mother says Jonah or I’ll box you.

“Jonah, you have talked about physical violence, what did that phrase mean, ‘I’ll box you!’”
“When the old man wanted to,” said Jonah, “he would knock us around. His favorite punch was his fist to my face, or a back hand. He liked that one too. He would hit me and send me flying across the room. I was four years old. Sometime he liked to blister me with his belt, and at other times, a limb of a tree. He would always pull my shorts down and hit me right on the butt. He really liked my butt.”

“How did he like your butt?” I asked very gently. Jonah turned white and said, “I have had other dreams.”
“Could you tell me those dreams, Jonah?” I asked
“I don’t know.” He seemed very cautious
“You may hate me if I tell you the dream.”
I spoke very slowly and gently to his inner child. I told him this time and place had been given to us as a safe place where dreams could be told and no judgments made.
“Well, if I tell you, will you promise not to think I am a bad man?”
“Yes,” I said, “most definitely.”

“In the dream I am little again, about three years old. Bath time, bath time, bath time, water running. Mom is gone. The old man sent her shopping. Bath time. The old man comes into my room without a stitch of clothes on. I think I have seen him this way before but I’m not sure. His penis is so big. He looks like a giant. He takes all my clothes off and I am standing there naked with him. My head doesn’t even come up to his penis. He says, “We are going to take a bath together. You are big enough now. We are going to always bathe together.”
“Then I remembered that my older brothers had gone into the bathroom with him too, but they never talked about it. He took me by the hand into the bathroom. He turned on the water to fill the tub. Then he just looked at me. The way he looked at me scared me. Then he began to use his hand on his penis and pretty soon it was standing out straight. I was scared. He got in the bathtub first and spread his legs. His big penis was stranding straight up in the air between his legs. He told me to get in the tub and sit between his legs. As soon as I did he pulled me back into him. I could feel his hard penis pushing at me. I was really scared. Then he reached around me and picked up my little penis and said, “You just have a little tiny prick that is good for nothing. Feel mine.” And he put his penis up against my butt. He seemed to like my butt. Then he picked me up by my shoulders and sat me down on his big penis. I started to cry and call for mom, but she was not there and my brothers didn’t come.
“I am just going to give you a little taste tonight. I am just going to stick the head of my dick up your butt.”
All I remember then is pain and crying for mom. He got out of the tub and looked at me and said, “You didn’t give me any pleasure at all, you little shit, you little no good prick.”
“Is that when he called you a name Jonah” I asked
“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT! YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE WHAT HE CALLED ME!” Jonah was screaming.
“Was the name he called you different from the other curse words he used?” I asked
“Fuck you. How did you know? You fucking asshole!” Jonah spouted.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Jonah. It’s OK”
“OK. You wanna know? He called me “precious.” “PRECIOUS!” WHEN HE STUCK THE HEAD OF HIS DICK INTO MY BUTT HE CALLED ME PRECIOUS!” BUT I GUESS I DIDN’T PLEASE HIM ENOUGH BECAUSE I WASN’T PRECIOUS VERY LONG.”
Jonah began to cry and go into a fetal position. I comforted him. All of this had taken place in thirty minutes. Jonah had been dying to tell someone who would not judge him. I was about to go into a gentle close of the session when Jonah said, “Now do you want to know about the puppies?”
“Do you feel like you want to tell me?”
“Yeah, you gotta know.”
“That Sunday afternoon when I was four, Dad told all us kids to take an afternoon nap. When we got up he told us all to come out to the tool shed. When we got there, there was Buster and her puppies and Dad with a hammer in his hand. He said, ‘I told you not to get a dog. We cain’t afford em. Buster this is your last day on earth,’ and he hit her on the head hard with the hammer. She cried and then fell silent. ‘Now boys, each of you are going to take one of these puppies and knock it in the head.’ He gave the hammer to James, who began to cry. ‘Hush up,’ said the old man, ‘or I’ll give you something to cry about.’ He picked up a puppy and set it on the concrete right underneath James. ‘Now hit the damn thing, James,’ he screamed. ‘HIT IT! HIT THE LITTLE MOTHER FUCKER! HIT IT!’ But James wouldn’t hit it so Dad hit him. He hit him with his fist right in the mouth and knocked James out of the tool shed. So he gave the hammer to Peter and said ‘HIT IT YOU PRICK OR I’LL KILL YOU!’
“Peter was crying but he hit the puppy and it died. ‘NOW YOU PEE WEE,’ as he hands me the hammer,’ HIT THAT ONE THERE! HIT IT YOU LITTLE PUSSY. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT. HIT IT YOU LITTLE PRICK.’ So finally I hit it. It fell and cried and then it stopped crying. I so wanted to take that hammer and kill Dad with it. I wanted to see him fall down and cry and then die! WHY DID THE PUPPIES HAVE TO DIE? WHY? WHY? WHAT HAD THEY DONE TO BE KILLED SO HORRIBLY?”

“Jonah, you have experienced horrible things. Your mind has gotten confused over how to understand it all. When all of this happened you had the mind of a child. Children are not supposed to experience terrible things like these. Now I am going to tell you some things that are absolutely True. Listen.
You are not responsible for your father’s abuse. He is responsible for it. He had power over you and made you do things. You have not failed anyone and you are not a bad man. You were injured by your father because he was a bad man. You have nothing to feel guilty for.”
“But I let him do terrible things to me. I AM guilty.”
“Jonah, when you are that small you cannot stand up for yourself. Your parents are supposed to stand up for you. In your case, they were too sick to do that. But you are not to blame and you have nothing to be guilty for. You are as God created you. You are beloved as a Son of God.
“These dreams are not former lives or evidence of spirit attachment. They are your mind asking for help in solving these incongruities that your child mind could not solve. If we find anything more spiritistic we will deal with it. How does that sound?”
“So then you will help me?” he asked in almost the same tone as in the beginning.
“Yes, Jonah, I will be honored to help you. We can figure all this out. Would it be OK with you if we had just a short period of silence before we go?”
“Sure, I guess.”
I closed my eyes and went into spirit and asked my guides to bring in Jonah’s guides and healing spirits to work with us. I also called for an angel to come just to protect Jonah. He came. I asked for guidance to be able to bring about the greatest possible good for Jonah.

Do you think you will be able to sleep tonight?” I asked.
“My doctor gave me some meds to get me to sleep.”
“That’s good. Try to listen to relaxing music tomorrow and I will see you at 2:00PM the next day.
“Thank you. I can’t believe I actually told you all that stuff,” Jonah said
“I’ll be happy to see you day after tomorrow. If you have any problems or anxiety, please call me, OK?”
“OK, thanks. Bye.”
“Goodbye for now Jonah. See you soon.”

The Next Session

“It’s nice to see you again, Jonah. Would you like something to drink?”
“Water is all, as usual.”
“Then water it shall be.”

“Did you sleep well Jonah?”
“Not bad. I took those meds and I don’t remember any dreams…just as well.”
“Well, hopefully you won’t need that medication very much.”
“I see from my notes that you are 55 now. Are you mother and father still alive?”
“Ah Christ no. Mom died of leukemia ten years ago and the old man croaked from Alzheimer’s last year.”
“And what about your siblings, James, Peter and Ellie?” Jonah became very quiet.
“James died of a drug overdose when he was 29 and Peter joined the Army and was killed in Iraq. He was blown up by a land mine. There was nothing left to bury.”
“I am very sorry to hear this Jonah. Did you have a positive relationship with them?”
“Not much. When we got old enough to leave home, we all just sort of went crazy and scattered to the wind. None of us ever got past high school. James didn’t even graduate. I tried to go into business. I would do OK for a while but just when I was about to make it to the top something would happen to knock me back down again. This job I got now in Hawaii is going pretty good so far…as long as I don’t advance too far.”
“And what about Ellie? How is she?”
Jonah was silent.
“It’s OK.” I said. “We can talk about her later when it feels right.”
“It is never going to be OK Mr. Shore…James, Peter and I tried to protect Ellie from Dad but we were just kids. My sister was a sweet girl. She was innocent. She had beautiful, long blonde hair and a perky little smile. She was really popular in school and she was doing well…until she was about seven. We heard the doors creak at night. Her bedroom was next to mine. We got out of bed and went into the hall. There he was, right at her door. ‘You little bastards get back to bed before I kill all of you,’ he screamed at us. No way Mom didn’t hear it. He went into Ellie’s room. We heard her cries, ‘No Daddy don’t. I don’t want to do that.’ Then the sound of a slap and crying, and the old man’s voice, ‘Now put this in your mouth and suck on it. It’s good for you!’ There was just the sound of whimpering until Ellie screamed, ‘Daddy don’t. It hurts too much.’ And the old man moaning, ‘You’re my woman now Ellie. Your mother’s no good. It’s just you and me now. We’re going to do this every night.’”
“And he did…every night. When Ellie was 17 she got Dad’s shotgun one day while he was at work and shot herself. James, Peter and I decided we would kill him then. James attacked him straight on but the old man beat the shit out of him. Peter and I decided we would wait for our chance. The old man had a 1953 Nash Rambler that he took to work every day. We decided we would cut half way through his brake hose. If we were lucky he would find a last resting place in some ditch. He went into the ditch alright, but he survived. We left home then and the rest brings me here.”

“I am so very sorry Jonah,” as I fumbled for words.
“Jonah you came to me because I am a medium I would like to try to help you as a medium. Would that be OK?”
“Any help, any help, please,” Jonah choked out the words.
“The first thing I am seeing Jonah is that your father put a generational curse on you when he abused you in that bathtub as a toddler! Some father figure did that to him back there in the woods and he passed it on. Let’s get rid of it, from off your back!”
I went into spirit and asked help from all my spirit guides and angels to remove this generational curse. We did it. It was removed.
“How do you feel now Jonah?” I asked
“Oh my…I feel like a terrible weight has been taken off me!”
“Yes,” I said, “it has been and there is nothing from that curse left to hold you back. That curse had made you feel guilty and you projected that guilt on to the authorities in your life. You saw them as evil so that you wouldn’t have to feel guilty yourself. But as you can see, it didn’t work. It just kept you from making a success of your business life. Now you are free to accomplish what you want.
“Jonah, do you think now you could look back on that bathroom abuse and see who was to blame?”
“How?” he asked.
“Just begin to visualize your life moving backwards and see if you can look at that scene so etched in your mind. But this time you see it, you are in a safe place. Your spirit guides and angels go back with you. Look at that awful scene and tell me who is at fault?”
It took him only a minute, “My old man, of course. I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Right,” I said. “You were just a child. A bad thing happened to you to be sure, but it was not your fault, was it?”
‘”NO…IT WAS NOT MY FAULT,” he exclaimed as though he were really getting it!!!
“Now,” I said, “take a look at that little boy there in the bathroom.” What would you like to tell him? You can now. Spirit will help you to tell him something from your heart.
Jonah looked hesitant at first, but then I saw his eyes light up just as his guides came into the room. “I want to tell him,” Jonah began. “I want to say to him, ‘little Jonah’? You don’t know me but I know you. I want you to know that I love you, and others you don’t even know love you too. You have the strength to face these awful hurdles and make your way through the roughest of tests. I am going to be watching you and I am going to keep reminding you that I love you.”
“How did that feel Jonah,” I asked. He began to cry, but these tears were good ones.
“It felt like I really helped that little boy,” he said.
“Yes, and you did help that little boy and you will continue helping him through his life,” I said with some moist eyes of my own.
“But now we may need to make trips back for others there in that home,” I said. You need to speak truth to that family. We will take our time and we will go with spirit. Your and my guides, healing angels, guardian angels, are all here to take the trips with you and make it safe. Who would be the next person you would like to speak to back there?”
His eyes filled up and he said, “Ellie, of course.” We did the meditation and were soon there in Ellie’s room. “Ask spirit,” I said, to put your words into her mind.
“Ellie? Can you hear me? I love you. I have come to tell you the truth from my heart. You are a wonderful being. I can even say now, thanks to the help from some new friends, that you are God’s child, filled with His goodness and Love. I know bad things are happening to you, but just hold on. You have angels working overtime on you. Don’t give up! Don’t let the sadness and hurt win over you. Have faith that life will bring you something good! Please, believe me. I love you.”
As Jonah spoke those words to Ellie, my angels showed her to me in spirit. She was shining and gleaming with blond hair and a full smile. In her arms were five puppies, all very much alive. On either side of her stood guardian angels and to the sides there was a great throng of angels, praising God, and proclaiming, “Only Love is real.” I was so overcome, I burst into my own tears and told Jonah the scene I was seeing in Spirit.
“Can I see her,” he said. I asked my guides and angels if they could make this possible.
“Take one hand and put it between my eyes, and the other on the top of my head. Close your eyes and ask to see Ellie.”
“I see her, I see her, I see her. I see the puppies, the puppies, all alive and well. I love you Ellie. I love you. Now you are in your true Home and only Love will be your portion. I am so happy, so happy. You are alive. YOU ARE ALIVE!”
As he saw her, the angels on either side of her began to ascend with her while the choirs of angels sang the praises of God. We continued in this state of grace for quite some time. When we came out of it, we were both shining.
Jonah Parr became an executive Vice President with his company and married very late in life to a wonderful woman. They live now on five acres in Langley BC with many dogs, cats and other beasties that flock to their light! 

Image may contain: Teresa Dopyera, smiling

What to Do

What to do? I think this is a good time in world history to repeat a classic story from A Course in Miracles. A Course in Miracles student is walking home after enjoying a group meeting on ACIM when he comes to a bridge over a river and he sees a young person standing on the railing screaming, “I am going to jump! I am going to jump! Don’t anybody try to stop me!” What does the ACIM student “do?” I’ll give you a little time to think:) …………You have an answer? It is a very good story to look at because right now, especially in the Western world, that despairing person on the bridge threatening to jump represents the way a lot of people feel right now, and it is only going to get far worse as the election season comes in full swing, or as England finally has to deal with Brexit!! The ACIM student represents all of us who can see what is happening in the world. OK here is the answer:  The ACIM student should not rush to do anything physically, like give the jumper a little lecture on “you’re so young. You have so much to live for;” nor a little ACIM lecture about how the physical world is unreal, nor offer to give the jumper a free copy of ACIM!  What he must do is be at Peace in that moment so that he can hear the voice of the Holy Spirit which will TELL him what to do, whatever that is will be in everyone’s best interest. Without His voice telling us, our ego mind has absolutely no way in the world to figure out what is best to do. Now that is true in the world right now which is caught up in an ego frenzy like we have not seen since the Nazi’s took over Germany!! Much of the Western World feels like they are just ready to jump! They thought they were trying one last thing to help change the system by electing Trump or voting for Brexit!!! But it didn’t work, of course. OF COURSE it didn’t work. It didn’t work for Germany when they tried with Hitler. It didn’t work with Italy when they tried with Mussolini. It didn’t work for the USSR when they tried with Stalin!! Voting in the Strong Man figure corresponds in our story to actually jumping off that bridge. But you get down in that river and the water is moving faster than you thought it was. You have no control and you are being swept away! You reach out and snag a hold of any branch of a tree sticking out from the bank and you scream for help. The young ACIM student is at Peace while witnessing this and the Holy Spirit says, “Go help her out of the river; dry her off; speak words of kindness to her, and when she is ready, take her to an inn where you can give her some hot soup and dry clothes. And then when she is ready, ask her if there is anybody she would like to call.” In an instant that whole instruction will be conveyed. The Holy Spirit will take charge of the situation.  You see the ego has us all hypnotized to believe that loving kindness is intrinsically stupid! There is wisdom that comes from Love when one makes a loving choice and the direction that the Holy Spirit will give you will be loving…for every one.  But first your mind must be at Peace. You can’t choose again for the Holy Spirit to be your teacher instead of the ego (which we all chose) while your head is full of chatter and you think you have only some thought out of that chatter to guide you!! Take a look around! See how good that has worked!!!! Back to our little story. Rewind now to the place where the ACIM student gets to the bridge and first sees the jumper. He stays in Peace because he has had practice at stilling the mind. His mind is ready to hear the Holy Spirit’s advice. The Holy Spirit says, “Go…..and…..” And he does. (hint: the wisdom within Love’s Presence will tell you what happened.) 

Joe at Johns-1a

Death does not give you Enlightenment

The tendencies we have NOW in thought carry with us at the death of the physical body. We don’t get advanced just by dropping our bodies. Nothing significant happens to us when we drop the body. We are still a mind believing we are separate with all of our perceptions still in tact. How we advance depends on our willingness to work with spirit in that realm of mind, and that is affected by our patterns of thought when we were alive! As you know, I am a medium and I often contact those spirits who have dropped their bodies. One of my dear friends in opera dropped his body at the age of 82. Of course, I felt loss just like everyone does. But within a week after his passing, I was awakened in the night by his spirit contacting me. I followed his voice in spirit and zipped right up into the mid-Astral and found him in a hall with other great singers. It was not a fancy hall. It could have been any meeting hall here on earth but all the great opera singers in history were there. That is what my friend wanted, apparently, and that is what he got, He was young–about 30–tall and slender, and having the time of his “life” talking with all the great singers who had passed over before him. I talked with him briefly there in that hall and inquired about a Metropolitan Opera coach who we both knew, who had passed away a few years before. My friend laughed and said, “I don’t think she came up here. I think she went down,” and he pointed down and laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh of derision or judgment. It was just a recognition that where we were was still in illusion!! For many months I could not communicate with my friend. My angels told me that he was having great fun exploring the universe. He had been a scientist in life as well as a singer. Then a couple of weeks ago I heard from him again. He and I had developed some grievances while he was alive and they began to be aired with one another. He had been a very insecure person psychologically in life, and so he was also in death. After playing around in the universe for a while he came right back to the mid-Astral, very close to earth and very much still invested in the perception of duality. The year before he died his insecurity had bubbled over. He would call me up and ask me to assure him that he was the greatest bass ever! I would say, “Well, you were one of the greatest basses in the 20th century.” That was not enough. Week after week he would call me and interrogate me in the same manner. After he died his “personality,” now disembodied, continued with that line of insecurity. The other day I was listening to one of his recordings and artistically appraising it. His spirit jumped right in, trying to defend his work from my appraisal.

What illusions we have here we need to work on here because otherwise we carry them into spirit and they are harder to work on there!!!!!!!

Not Two!

Love is the Home we seek for. In everyone and everything there is this memory of Home that we seek for. We have almost forgotten it but not quite. We cannot forget it. It calls to us like a whisp of a melody almost forgotten and yet too dear and too close to us to forget it. It is the certitude that we seek. It is the perfect lover and companion that we search for. It is the almost forgotten country from which we all came. Consciousness obscures it and makes us think there is a great distance between us. If there are two–I, as a consciousness, and Home as a place, then there is distance and time. Then there is journey and the perception of need. All of this perception of two is false. There is only “Advaita,” not two. The Home that we all remember is unconscious love, perfectly unconditional because it is impersonal, and full of Truth and Knowledge, an impersonal universe of spirit which is our only True Self. Lots of people go around preaching that “consciousness is god.” Well if it is dear ones, it is a pitiful god because it would mean that forever there is duality, that nothing exists without an opposite. There is no Ground of all Being! Being would exist only to be threatened by the other! Were this the nature of Truth, this would indeed be madness. We must awaken to see that “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” That Peace is the Home we seek and the love that fills it. Consciousness is the land of dreams, the land of separation. In this dream “I” proclaim I exist as an observer and the universe is outside of me to be observed. In consciousness I am separate from God and every other sentient being. “I” as a consciousness am dreaming and in the dream I search for Home and love. How do I awaken from consciousness? You see I do not want to promote more consciousness! That just puts me into deeper dream states which are all illusions!! God is not consciousness. Consciousness is the dream that “I” can separate from God and stand apart from Him and observe Him! Consciousness is the original madness!! There is no original sin apart from this original madness In God’s world, there is only unconscious, impersonal, Love which is also Truth and Knowledge. As long as you believe your little body self is real you will not be able to find this Home that you long for. The first phase of awakening comes when the fabricated little “I” can say, “I am not a body. I am free, for I am just as God created me; spirit, not physical, a part of Him, not separate, connected to all things that think they are separate and feel themselves in need. While I seem to be in this body I will serve them by forgiveness, love and kindness. I will awaken because the great time has come!!!!!” 

(many concepts and terms I used here come from ACIM)

bench into eternity
We are on the bottom rung now on the ladder that leads back to our Home. As we came down the ladder by first becoming lost in the dream of consciousness, we go back up that ladder by rising higher in awareness. As we do we may catch glimpses or have experiences of a foretaste of our True character. Truth may break in on us, a little at a time. These little periods of enlightenment cannot yet stay but as long as they last they give us a propulsion upwards.
In the early fall of 2012, as I was preparing to go to Brazil to see John of God, I was visited by a change in consciousness which can only be described as a foretaste of enlightenment. It felt like Heaven right here.  I wrote about it this way then:

“A stillness has come to me which is unlike anything I have experienced before. The Love of God has come into my mind to take up abode. I am not alone, nor lonely, nor do I ever feel bored. I am actively experiencing the Love of God in my mind. I need no TV. The thought of it is humorous. I need nothing. I eat my meals while looking happily out my window at the beautiful clouds and mountains. I walk to the grocery store, talk to the street beggars with a smile and love in my heart while I pull out the change in my pocket and give it to them. I come back home and look at the clouds and the mountains and am more than content. Songs play in my mind of peace and the love of God. I write on Facebook, email friends, and pet the cat. What more need there be? I am still inside and need no entertainment. I know that I am a part of God and share his holiness and glory. I am at the gates of heaven. This is a stillness which I have not had before. This is not the stillness from nature, as beautiful as that is. This is the Love of God which has taken up abode in my heart and I want for nothing more; not fame, nor riches, not wife, nor position. I have found peace and happiness within the Love of God. And I am not alone here in my mind. You are here too. We are all one Mind and we are almost home. We are the Glory of God.
Pray for the Glory of God to fall, as we awaken to Self, One with God. In the Glory cloud will all our lessons be reviewed. In the Glory cloud will we climb up the ladder. In the Glory cloud will we see Jesus. In the Glory cloud we will know our Home. Soon we will be done with the troubles of the world. Soon we will just be what we are. We are the Glory cloud of God.

“The Glory of God is all I need.
The Glory of God is my Home.
The Glory of God is my peace.
The Glory of God removes all illusions,
None can stand in The Glory of God.
The Glory of God is all I want.
The Glory of God is all I seek.
The Glory of God is the will of my spirit.
The Glory of God is the answer to my deepest question:
“Who am I?”
I am the Glory of God,
As rays from the sun,
I am His Glory.
I am The Glory of God.

“I eat my food and pass my water. I pet the cat and watch the clouds, gather in the twilight and welcome the night.

“I teach my students and just stay in this Love which I never, ever, want to leave. It is my Home. It is my Highest Self. I am where I belong, and I am far from alone. You are here with me, and you, and you, and you, and you. “We are all here, Father. The Mind which you created as One has come Home to you. And you know we never really left. We travelled only in dreams while safely in your embrace. Our Love, Our Light will shine forever with You. And the Love you have for your Son is returned back to you as pure as it was when you created Him. Our song, in praise to You, is all that will be heard.”

“I thought that, for me, the most difficult part of staying in right-mindedness, and continuing my experience of the Love of God in my daily life would be to control reactions. Reactions can send you right back to wrong mindedness. But I have found that the Love of God actually gently protects me from reactions. I mean, there is just so much space and timelessness! I stood in a long line at the IGA today, without any temptation to lose patience. I just listened to the people’s thoughts and feelings as I waited. That’s another thing about the real Love of God…It is not evangelistic! I had no urge to try to persuade people! The Love of God honors our sleeping brothers! It is like Tara Singh said, “Some of our brothers are deeply asleep. That’s alright. Let them sleep. They will awaken.” The Love of God knows no pressure.

“Today I awakened from sleep rather early for me. I thought, ‘Jesus why am I up so early.’ I soon found out there was work he wanted me to do. This is life in the Spirit. We listen to an inner Voice that always speaks for truth, and we happily do as the Voice tells us. We have learned over the years, that those who obey the inner Voice will know the Love of God! May you know it today!! Peace.

That was my sharing with you. For six weeks the Christ Mind was almost totally me. It was the culmination of my life. Eventually, though, I faded back into Joe Shore, more loving, of course, and with higher gifting, but Joe Shore nonetheless.”

At first, I agonized over losing this state, but then it came to me that it had been a precious gift which I could not fully hold yet. But one day I shall be able to go into that

state and remain there…with all of you, my brothers! ❤

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Let it Shine

How to stay “Light” in a dark world—the world is very dark right now. The dream of the world has taken a turn back into fear. One can see it in the reflections of the world on TV and movies. Never has there been such fascination with darkness. It would seek to beguile you. But if you have seen your own inner Light you need but use the awareness that your Light gives. Don’t watch that dark TV show. Don’t let it fascinate you. Turn the TV off and go into your own Light again. We are the Lighthouses of the world. It is up to us to bear the Light in a world that knows neither Light nor Love unless we provide it. And provide it we can. Each of us contains the Whole of the Son of God within himSelf. We are each of us the radiance of God and we can awaken each other from the fearful dreams God’s Son has made in his mistaken belief in terror. Terror would indeed be terrible were it true. Then that which is Real could be threatened and there would be no firm Ground of all Being. Thank God that is not true!!! Only in a nightmare could it seem to be true. In Truth, where you and I and all things have our being, Nothing Real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein does indeed lie the Peace of God. That Peace I must bring with me into this terrified world. That Peace must shine in me! “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.”